A
female
age
41-50,
*mal1
writes:I have been in a relationship with a man for almost a year and a half. I love him VERY much and he feels the same for me. The problem is, when he gets angry, he is verbally abusive. He says things that he knows will hurt me, things that are so mean and hateful. I always say, this is it. I am not putting up with it anymore…but I always go right back to him. I am at the point now to where I know I need to end it. This is not healthy and not the way I want to live the rest of my life. I just don’t know how. I get so afraid of losing him, all of the many good times we have shared keep running thru my mind and I start to thinking that maybe it isn’t so bad. But it is. I want to delete him off all of my messenger sites, facebook, everything but I just can’t seem to make myself. I am writing this hoping I can get some advice on how to grow a backbone and walk away from him, for good.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): I belive you really need to sit down and ask your self...Do you really love him? Can you see your self sharing your life with him? I have a feeling that he says some of the things he does because either he feels hes not getting the attention he think he needs from you, and that there is something that is happening with either himself or possibly involves you...that makes him feel hes being treated unfairly.
There might be some problems between the two of you that have gone unresolved, and are still nagging at him. Either way there is a huge problem that needs to be addressed.
I believe that your boyfriend needs to see a counsler to help him resolve some of the issues that are eating at him. If you are part of those issues then u need to go along with. Second, he needs to find out if he's depressed. There is a good chance that your boyfriend has found himself in a situation where he feels hes not able to express his true feelings and possibly at this point he may feel a sense of helplessness and inability to deal with stress effectively which will also fuel his rage. So unfortunately you are first in line for his tounge lashings. With my own personal exprience, alot of what he's exhibiting is a learned behavior. I myself am guilty of this kind of behavior too. I didnt get help and it ultimately ruined my marriage. I knew what I was saying was wrong, and I didnt know how to control the rage that I often felt and always felt remorseful, guilty, and depressed as a because of my actions.
Bottom line is if you think you have a future with this man...get help..be supportive.
A
female
reader, Fail.. +, writes (30 December 2010):
I am in the same position,my boyfriend says he hates me and that he wishes that i was different. so i told him to leave me,he says that he knows we have a future and that is worth more than a couple of fights and bad words.
even though it sounds sweet,it really isn't. he thinks it's ok and its not. if you really want to get over ut then you should stop talking to him all together. since he can pull you back into the relationship he can make you come back just as fast and he knows it.
im not trying to tell you what to do or how to grow backbone cause i can't even do it myself,but i honestly hope this helps..
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