A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What are men looking for? Honestly. I was on my break at work and having a laugh and joke with some of my male colleges. We got on to the subject of kids and i spoke about my daughter and Christmas. One of them said, your not married are you? I responded with no am a single mum. He said, Ahh right, you don't seem the marrying type and I asked what does that mean? My other college said well, Their are some women who are good to look at and well... and others you marry. I'm not going to lie I was offended by this comment. I don't think I dress or look like a tart but that's what he meant, isn't it? So my question when a man is looking for a girlfriend does he prefer her to look plain or modest and if she doesn't she looks too easy ect?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 December 2014):
 I think you understood his meaning just fine, there wasn't much to misunderstand.
However, I think you give this guy WAY to much credit. He can't possibly KNOW what "men" as a group want in a woman.
What I'd do is not take his "advice" to heart, because the MEN that DO think like him are not for you (or really for any kind of decent woman).
I know guys who in their 20's preferred single moms. For the single reason that they thought single moms were less of a "party girl" and way more focused on success. So you know, it's not about finding a "type" of guy, it's about finding a guy who is a good FIT for YOU.
And let's face it... If girl who dressed like "tarts" never got married, don't you think.... no girls (who want marriage) would EVER dress like one? Dressing up, dressing "sexy" doesn't make you a "tart". Some women are WAY more confident in their look and taste in clothes then others, doesn't make them a tart. And let's face it, HOW you dress doesn't translate into what kind of person you are.
So shake it off, shake your head and think, poor dude is ignorant... and move on from the conversation.
You can't fix stupid.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 December 2014):
Every person has different preferences. You can't please everybody.
Also, don't take what the guy said too seriously either. His opinion is worthless and has nothing to do with what you actually look like.
Not to mention words can get misspoke, misunderstood, and misinterpreted.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2014): All men want a girlfriend/wife who is attractive and "good to look at." What he meant was that some women "are good to look at" and nothing more. That's where the attraction stops. Whereas a girlfriend/wife is not only "good to look at" but also is lady-like, fun to be around, worthy of being trusted, is a friend, a good mother, is responsible, intelligent, makes good decisions, is someone that the man feels can serve many more roles than JUST being pretty and looking sexy. There is more to her. The reality of life is that men put women into categories based on the woman's behavior and her lifestyle and her choices. I do not know why he said this to you and can understand why you were offended as Im sure any woman would be offended too. Unfortunately, a lot of men can be very judgmental of single mothers, especially when the pregnancy was unplanned, out of wedlock and at a very young age. There are other factors too. Were you being flirty with them? Sometimes when a girl acts excessively flirty, a guy may say something off character to see where your boundaries are. Were you talking about sex or anything? Or make a lot of sexual innuendos? Are you touchy-feely? Do you dress in a certain way that calls a lot of attention to "sexualized" parts of your body? All these things can make a guy have a negative judgment of you and put you in a "non-girlfriend" category. I'm just bringing up things for you to consider as to why these guys judged you this way. And help you be more guarded when you are around boys to protect you from these types of situations. But regardless of what they thought of you, they shouldn't have made that comment. It was crass and it shows how stupid their own behavior is. You know that saying, "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything." That's the stance they should've taken. Goes to show their manners are garbage.Just remember they don't know you, so don't let their ignorance affect you. Just stop telling them personal stuff about yourself and instead be stoic around them. Go to work, do your job and go home. These guys don't deserve a reaction or any more of your attention.
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