A
female
age
36-40,
*taunton5410
writes:My boyfriend and I just celebrated our 10 month anniversary yesterday. Lately we have been arguing a lot about stupid little things. We get to the point where neither one of us want to deal with eachother anymore and we pretty much break up but then start to talk and work things out. During our last fight, he did say that he didnt want to be with me anymore but we ended up talking and getting through it. Now when we started talking he told me all of the things that I do that make him mad. One of the things was: When he is already mad about something I try to talk to him about it, eventhough he doesnt want to be around me, so basically he tells me to go away but I keep trying to talk to him, which he hates. So he told me that in order for him to cool down I need to stay the F*** away from him. So basically we want to keep trying to work things out so he made these little rules for me. He said that once he says he does not want to talk to me I need to leave him alone and let him come to me when he is ready. He said it could be a few hours or a few days, but to not persue talking to him, other wise he will want to break up with me. Of course I made rules for him to, like to pick up after himself, dont leave clothes on the floor, be organized, etc. I just need to know, when a couple make rules in their relationship, does that mean they are very controlling of one another or is it a good thing to do? thanks guys I hope this whole story makes sence.
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (6 August 2007):
 HiI wouldnt say so no. Whats wrong with having a few ground rules? I think its a good idea. As for the splitting up all the time, thats never a good thing, so if it works what hes suggesting, then it worthwhile isnt it.Lots of people want leaving alone when they have disagreed and i dont think hes being controlling asking you to give him space. I think hes showing maturity by knowing the best way to avoid splitting.Its worth a go isnt it.As long as both of you can stick to it!C xxxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): I think as long as the rules are not too huge and are helping the relationship in some way (i.e stopping the arguments or whatever) then they are fine. If it ever gets too far and you feel like you are being controlled then that's when it becomes a problem xxx
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