A
female
age
41-50,
*e fletch
writes:my husband n I have been together for 13years married 8 an I feel he don't care for me any more. We don't talk, we have sex maybe 3xs a month, an I caught him looking up a girl on the internet that we work with that he was accused of sleepn with. He said he did it because he was bored, but a month or 2 later he downloaded her pic off of facebook and saved it. When I asked him bout it he said if he holds his finger on a pic long enough it auto. Saves it. What a crock! I put on weight after havn 2 kids but he makes fun of me all the time but he says he's joking. Ne way I don't feel like he loves me any more is it because of my weight? Is it because he's bored with me? Is it because he is in love with some one else? I'm his first at everything an he is mine. I'm a very jelouse person could this be a prob. With the way he's acting? Please any help me with advice. I'm 28 he's 27.
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female
reader, shelly5 +, writes (2 October 2010):
 If he jokes again about weight, let him know calmly how the jokes he makes are undermining and rude. Then let it go, you don't want to argue but you need to be straight with his disrespect. My advice from experience on this, we were going thru the daily family drama with work, kids, bills and man I was always tired and stressed so I ate poorly and didn't exercise. Well I hit 200lbs(I'm only 5"1) and I know he didn't like it and I didn't like it either. Yes, he made hurtful jokes, we were drifting apart things came to a head and I was just ready to lose the weight. I felt angry at myself for letting it go on for so long. I started cutting calories and walking. My motivation was a turn on to him and he returned became very supportive and helpful. It's been almost 3 years now and 70 lbs lost. ya know what? I felt happy about reaching a goal that I didn't think would happen...I feel better and it shows thru the marriage,the children and me. Work on you and the rest will follow, promise!
A
female
reader, Black diamond20 +, writes (30 September 2010):
its not u its him and i doubt if the women at work has any relations with him because if she did he would not be stalking her on facebook.she would just send him pics. You need to go out with your friends and keep yourself busy he'll come after you! Trust me :) good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): you dont ever tease a women about her weight, regardless if shes 50lbs or X amount ... the fact he did that tells me he's being possibly passive aggressive about ur weight and that he wants you to lose it. This can happen and ive seen men cheat on women because of having kids and the woman puts on weight (I used to work for a lawyer who openly cheated cause his wife had three kids and she gained weight). Sad I know.
Let me be positive here: He's teased, he's saved a photo, and ur offended and have every right. My guess is hes thinkin about somethin bad but hasnt done it. If he saved a photo its like hes fantasizing perhaps. The next step may be more and you should talk to him and get to the bottom. When approaching, do not accuse of cheating. You want a productive convo, not a shouting match. I feel you here and wish u the best.
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