A
male
age
30-35,
*ord-of-purple
writes:I'm a teenager that just can't date like others do. People my age date because they have a small crush on each other, because that's what you're supposed to do at my age, right?But for some reason I can only go with a girl for love, not just for infatuation, or adoration or WHATEVER you want to call it.So far I've had 4 girlfriends, the last 3 whom I've fallen in love with and ended up breaking up with. I always have the intention and the great feeling that I'm more than willing to be with them forever and one I even dated for over a year when she said "I don't think I WANT to spend my life with you." and I broke up with her.I've tried seeing other girls and just dating them because I like them, but when I realized that I couldn't love them I broke up with them as well.I know that our (as in teenagers) brains aren't fully developed and all that stuff, and that we're not SUPPOSED to be able to be in true love at this age, which brings me to the question:What's wrong with me?! Is this NORMAL for a teenager?How can I get over this whole feeling where I need to be told by the girl that I'm dating that she's genuinely in love with me?Any help would be appreciated.Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): Dating is supposed to be about getting to know the other person you have an attraction to seeing where things go. Dating also helps fine-tune your expectations and what you want in a mate. You're not going to fall in love with every person you date, especially at your age.
At your age, you're still discovering who you are... so how could you possibly know what you want in someone else? You find that out by dating. By dating, I was able to realize that I'm not the kind of person who can do a long-distance relationship. And I found out that I can't stand guys who get too clingy and call my phone every half a minute. I also found out that I can not date a guy who still lives with his mother at my age.
Dating doesn't have to be serious... if you fall in love with the person you're dating, cool. If you don't, then it means you've learned something about yourself (what you can and can't deal with in a relationship).
So, get out there and have fun. And don't worry about being so serious, you're young.
A
male
reader, romance_boy18  +, writes (26 April 2009):
 buddy i had that feeling and my friend ive met 5 yrs ago when i was 15 is now my gf. i always had that feeling that there was always the one for everyone and still do today. i knew that forever love was impossible but i started to have 2nd thoughts. love in teen years come and go, because teens aren't fully aware of true love and romance. girls are usually more mature in teen years.
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A
male
reader, previasc96 +, writes (26 April 2009):
Cut the nonsense and do your homework!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): Yeah,its totally normal.
I'm the same way if not more so. I'm with a girl right now that I just LOVE. If you can see yourself having a happy future with her than she might be the one. =)
( P.S)
I'm not gay or bi.
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A
female
reader, cloudysunshine  +, writes (26 April 2009):
I feel the same and i'm 21, i was in a relationship for five years, and since then the whole dating thing has been weird to me, i have to know a guy before i like him properly, personality is important to me, so don't worry you sound fine to me, and you're definitely not alone in what you think :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): Are you really the age that you say you are? 13-15? Because if so, you must've started "dating" at an incredible young age, especially to have been with someone for a year... I think you need to slow down a little.
But to answer your question.. yes that is perfectly fine. THe dating scene is not for everyone but I think a lot of teenagers do it anyway because they feel like they're supposed to or because they want to fit in. Other teenagers do it because they want to for themselves.
People who don't date around don't want to be with someone who is dating other people and only care for exclusive relationships. It doesn't make sense to them to be with someone who they don't think they will ever love, because love and committment is what they're looking for.
Some people don't want to be tied down and don't know what they want.. so they go out with several people in order to develop an opinion. They don't mind being with someone they will never love because they just want to have fun, or to enjoy theirselves for the time being.
There is nothing wrong with either of these procedures.
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