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*imon johnstone
writes: myself and my girlfriend have been going through a differcult period.in my eyes she has depression?we have 3 lovely kids together.2 girls one 11 and one 8 years old.1 son of nearly 2 years old. she used to spend alot time round her friend houses, which didnt please me. she has just finished a small part-time job in the evening. now she spends more even time around her friend house. spends no time with either me or the family. she seems a different person at the monent i.e started smoking and the odd drink with her friend. she has difficulty in affection towards me.low moods nearly every day. gone off sex? she has said we need time apart/space? what do i do?
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reader, bluemoon +, writes (10 October 2006):
I went through a low period myself a few years ago and my boyfriend had a very time dealing with it. I suggest if possible you find her a counselor to talk things over with. What helped me a lot was just talking to a stranger and getting things off my chest. I had free counseling services through my university. If you don't have access to something like that, there are 1-800 hotlines that offer counseling for free as well. I know it is a sensitive topic, but it could at least help her learn how to communicate with you. I applaud you sticking by her--that means more than probably anything else right now, even if she can't tell you that. If she is telling you she needs her space try to do the best you can within reason, but realize she may not even know what is in her best interest right now. Try staying in the background a bit just taking care of the children, the house, and generally helping her out. I hope you both can get some help with things. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): sound like ur spouse is going through some major changes in her life. as u know taking care of children is not easy and normally its women who do the larger part of child care. it may not be that she is depressed, she may just need time away from both u and ur lovely children. if that is the case, then her have some free time where u can care for the children why she gets some relief from life.
on the other hand if it is depression then how u can help is by talking to ur spouse and clearing the air, if she is feeling down and ur more than willing to help, ask her what u can do for her, not just in the moment, but whenever she needs it. ur oldest is two years old, but that doesnt mean that its to late to have post partum depression. if this is the case then its very serious. need i remind you of the woman who killed her 3 children by drowning them. im not saying ur spouse is going to do this, its just something that needs attention in early stages. just please dont give up, stay with her and help her and find out what is wrong with her.
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