A
female
age
30-35,
*ubblewrapmyheart
writes:Hi there,Me and my fiance are struggling a bit to find the right form of contraception!We've been together for four years and for about three of those we've been using the withdrawal method. We've never really been too worried about pregnancy as we're both settled and until now it would have been a blessing not a curse. However, now we've booked our wedding date (less than two years away!) we don't want a baby to come along and halt any plans right now, that can happen after the day! Previously I've had the mini pill which I had to stop taking due to drastic hormone changes. I've also had both types of coil which both times were fitted incorrectly and have damaged me. Fiance can't use condoms as any type/size we try makes his penis turn blue and it's not pleasant. For personal reasons I have steered very clear of anything chemical based and would like to continue doing so.I'd preferably like something that I don't have to think about too much as me and fiance are both spontaneous people and I feel stopping and having to sort something would just completely ruin that (I guess we've been spoiled with getting used to the pull out method)I'm just at a loss about what to do. Our options are almost non existent and it makes me feel like maybe we should just not have sex at all, which of course, would suck!Any suggestions welcome!Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2015): I highly recommend the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". I read that book three years ago and it completely changed my life. Since then, I have been using the symptothermal method--a method that is over 99% effective when used correctly. It sounds like it would be a great fit for you!
A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (7 September 2015):
 I'll second what Tisha said... The idea that no condom available today is big enough to fit your partner comfortably sounds like a bit of a stretch. Pun not intended! This excuse is the type that usually comes out when a man wants to insist on bareback sex but won't directly say as much. YouTube some of the things people have put condoms on... bananas, cucumbers... Even feet! Seriously. I haven't even seen a foot-sized penis in porn so I'm guessing there's a brand out there that will accommodate your partner IF he is willing to wear a condom during sex.
But if you're really set on NOT trying out various sizes and types of condoms, I'd suggest you get fitted for a diaphragm (requires an OB-GYN visit). No hormones and a high level of efficacy when used properly, but you do have to plan ahead and put it in BEFORE you intend to have intercourse. Once it's in, though, you don't need to interrupt anything. Sex can proceed as usual and you remove it afterward. It can also reduce the mess that comes with period sex, if you're into that.
I personally used a diaphragm for a while because a family history of blood clots makes me reluctant to use hormonal contraception long-term and I was trying the other available methods. It worked in that I didn't get pregnant and my (fairly large) partner barely felt it during sex. It was also covered by my health insurance. That said, I prefer the ease and lack of mess/lack of need for pre-planning with condoms, so I'm back to those. If you can find a brand your partner tolerates they really are the way to go.
Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 September 2015):
 BabyComp.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 September 2015):
 Here's a comprehensive run down of available contraceptive methods: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/
Talk to your doctor about your choices but as you've ruled out the more common methods you may find it a struggle to find an effective one that works with all your stipulations.
Personally, I'd find the puling out method to be more disruptive than stopping at the beginning of intercourse and sorting something out, like a female condom, for example.
I guess you'l have to decide between the lesser of the annoyances.
I have to laugh at these http://www.howtoresolved.com/public/index.php/tube/HGXTITcMzrI/how-to-put-a-condom-over-your-head-tutorial and here http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/swedish-singer-mocks-men-too-4936349 , that clearly demonstrate condoms stretch to quite magnificent proportions.
A quick google search turned up quite a few XL condom sites: http://luckybloke.com/pages/find-your-condom-size for one, I expect if you do a bit of research you'll be able to find one that will feel more like a nice pillowcase on your bloke's willy, and not a personal strangulation device.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 September 2015):
 Well, there are many types of oral contraception - more than the mini pill and I would honestly go have a chat with your doctor to find the RIGHT kind for you.
Personally, I have heard so many bad things about the patch, but again they might have changed a lot on the last 10 years. And I understand your reluctance to try the coil again. Which really only leave you with the female condom (which I think very few people use on a daily basis, or use at all) or the condom. I have NEVER heard of a guy not being able to use condoms. Seriously his penis turns blue? Have he not seen a doctor? Most condoms fit over the head (the one on everyone's shoulders) and over a person's foot, so I doubt they are all too small for him. If it's the latex he has problems with... there are other options. Like lambskin etc. Trojan makes them. (among other makers).
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