A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Without being bitchy I know of quite a lot of womenin their 50's who have been married for years and still happy and they are nothign to look at they are to be blunt quite plain but have good husbands.This of course is nice-but what is the secret? It cant be sex all the time becasue although its part its not all and there are a lot more sexy women out there and younger. Is it true men dont really want to have a woman of their OWN who give sex away to quickly when they meet them or is this a fallacy??? I have heard MOST men really want a challenge and nothing too easy yet this seems to be what they Do want easy sex-so please tell me what the truth is in all this?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to those with decent advice which sounds very good. The person who says I am shallow is very much wrong. I am well aware of LOVE that is my problem I fall in love far more then the sex bit and this iw why I was asking.
Thanks to those with useful advice
A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (5 July 2008):
 I'm tempted to say that it's simply because sex isn't everything.
Actually that's true, and a relationship based on nothing but being sexy is very unlikely to last.
The secret to having a successful relationship is, I believe, actually wanting it to last and being prepared to work at making it last when you go through the times that it really feels very uncomfortable - and we all go through them. There are a hundred and one other things, of course, not least being an ability to understand your partner and to accept that no two people have exactly the same wants, needs and desires.
Apart from that, looking sexy has very little to do with being sexy. Sex is one of the "glues" that helps bind many relationships together, and although it's far from being the only important factor. What goes on in the privacy of millions of bedrooms of married couples would, in some cases, make the most erotic pornography on the Internet look tame by comparison. And I can say that with the complete confidence of knowing that it's absolutely true.
With regard to the last part of your question, I don't think how soon you have sex in a relationship matters one way or the other. Everyone is different, and it's something that happens in it's own time for the individuals involved - some very quickly and some after very much longer. I don't think most men really want a challenge. That's something that some youngsters, "players", find interesting, but I really don't think that people with that sort of mentality are going to form a proper relationship until they "grow out of it". Yes, as you say, it's a fallacy (or should that be "phallusy"?).
Does any of that help?
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