A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have finally "got in there" with a girl (I'll call her Holly) who I've fancied for a while.....so I thought. I presumed I was friendzoned before until just recently.She had told me (a few months ago) that she would like to go out with someone who she had known well and has been a good friend to her. Which I was slightly confused about because a lot of girls seem to think otherwise.We had been getting more intimate lately and she would hug me for long periods of time - which I liked. Also, I had gone to her house before she went on holiday, where she hugged me alot, we talked about things and had a generally good time.When she was able to get internet access on holiday, she would tell me that she missed me a lot and couldn't wait to see me again. It's around that time her friend (not really, they just act nice to each other) started to flirt with me A LOT. I informed Holly that her friend was flirting with me a lot - which she was quite concerned about.Then when Holly returned home - she started sorting out the situation with her friend. She told me that she would be quite worried if I liked her back. And when I told her friend that I didn't fancy her, Holly said "I'm glad you didn't, I would have been really concerned!" Also, we met up and had quite a nice time til something happened. We were walking about whilst holding hands and we sat down on a bench in her primary school (which is open to the public during the holidays, it didn't have many people in there at the time). I pulled her closer to me and we hugged for about a minute before I tilted her head towards my lips and then she went in for a kiss.It was quite nice til she turned her head away for a few seconds and she wouldn't tell me why she did that.Then when I had to go home, we made out again and afterwards she said a really awkward "yeah, bye".But then on msn, she was being more happy and using any excuse she could to add an x to every message. I was completely confused at this point. She also talked about meeting up again - which we did today.And it was boring as hell, we didn't go out because it was raining so we were inside watching films and she was being really unaffectionate. I gave her a few hugs - which she saw as a chore as she was sighing a lot. And also when I had her in arms, she moved my hands out of the way - I thought WTF. We kept talking, but not that much and I didn't really try to do anything again apart from one hug.What is going on here? What's the reason for all these mixed signals?
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female
reader, Charlpop +, writes (5 August 2009):
 It sounds like she does like you, but perhaps today she just didn't feel up to it.She might be feeling down lately [for one womanly reason or another] so you shouldn't shoot her down for it.Also, girls tend to grow cold if things are going too fast for their liking, so if she doesn't seem particularly up for a hug, don't force it on her and go in for more later on. If she's seeming pretty distant, let her have her distance, and wait for her to come to you.Hope this helps!
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