A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,When I was 15 I had a huge crush on a guy who all the girls liked. We dated a bit, we never slept together. We nearly did but due to my age he behaved (he was 19 at the time). His on/ off girlfriend got jealous and we lost touch. I'm now 31 and our paths have crossed a few times as we have a lot of mutual friends but we have never really talked since then. I've always had the impression there was a lot of chemistry between us and he was curious about me. I've always had a soft spot for him. Last night I saw him online so out of curiousity I sent him a message and we got into a long conversation. We talked about lots of things, the past, mutual friends... and he bought the conversation back to when we dated. He mentioned a few times about how attracted to me he was then... that he felt because I was so much younger than him he shouldn't sleep with me. I stayed round his house for a few days once, and he wanted to get off his chest that he was very tempted then and was about to try but when came back from work, he found I had gone home and he missed his chance (I was promptly grounded by parents after this for staying over without telling them were I was). Apparently he had "always liked me and fought for me when his girlfriend was mean about me." So, Cupid.. what is going on here? He now lives in another country, a dad to a 1 year old son with his girlfriend of around two years....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2015): Yup, like Honeypie said, he was reminiscing. I have guy friends (teen ex boyfriends) from high school who I have caught up with as an adult and they are all married now or in relationships and we've talked for hours doing just that. Reminiscing. Our teen years were such a great time for all of us. And it is fun to look back and remember all the good times that we all still hold close to our hearts. One of my ex boyfriends from high school is married now and very much in love with his wife. And even so he is very open about how fond he was and still is about that time in our lives. About me and our friends. We were more than just boyfriend/girlfriend, we were friends and we were a big group of friends. And we all had so many good times together. His wife feels no threat whatsoever that he feels that way. And I am still in touch with several guys that I dated as a teen. And we remember each other with so much fondness.Some have even posted photos on facebook of us from back in the day. And it is so fun to see these. And even when there was this sort of teen romance, that involved maybe making out or experimentation, it was so innocent and wholesome and naive. At least that is how we see it. That talking about it doesn't seem inappropriate. Brings out alot of chuckling and smiles. Because we bring up the past, it is not something we want to revisit. We are grown up now, we are not the same people we were back then. They don't pose a threat to my boyfriend as I don't pose a threat to their girlfriends/wives. But it is something that is heartwarming and fun to remember and it feels good to be able to have that opportunity to catch up with old friends. You share this bond that is very charming. Maybe you are at a time in your life where you are single and are feeling a bit lonely. So any sort of attention your way seems like something more than it is. He lives in another country, he has a child and he is involved with somebody. Don't place a higher value on this chat you had with him than what it is. He remembers you fondly. It is a very common thing with old friends and lovers from high school.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 February 2015):
 He was reminiscing.
He DID the right thing back then. A 19 year old boy should have kept it in his pants, and this guy - DID THAT. So he was a decent guy. But he is also telling you that he WAS tempted, that he WAS attracted in "that" way to you... BACK then.
I'd keep the conversations platonic. He is "taken" and has a child by her, so getting into some kind of "fantasy" with who he is NOW, is not a good idea. He is romantically off-limits.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2015): He lives in a different country... WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND and 1yr old son.
So nothing is going on here OP.
Your intentions are not entirely noble and he's already laid the groundwork for an emotional affair with the things he said to you.
Leave him and his family to it. Do not be so self centred as to go after a committed man. The length of their relationship is not your concern. Just don't contact him again.
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