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What's he trying to do by asking to see me ?? We broke up on good terms...I don't want to risk things with my new guy...help!!

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 June 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 June 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend of about 3 months broke up with me. Our dating had started very casually, as neither of us really wanted anything long term. But as time went on things inevitably got more serious, and we became a couple. Then a few weeks ago, out of the blue he decided to break things off. He said that things had gotten too serious, and he wasn't really sure that's what he wanted anymore. We were living a ways a way from eachother, and that distance was only going to increase when he went off to college in fall. I was pretty sad, but understood where he was coming from. A few days after he officially broke up with me, he called me to talk things over. He wanted me to know that he still had feelings for me, it was just easier to end it now. We agreed that we both still wanted to keep in touch, and there was no reason to not try and be friends.

Seeing as this wasn't that long of a relationship, and things ended as amicably as possible, my heart was still in tact. I felt comfortable dating again just a few weeks later. And this weekend I went on a date with a guy that I really really liked. I know it's too soon to really say, but I had high hopes for this guy.

But then today, I get a text from my ex saying how much he misses me. He pretty much begged me to come over to his house tonight (about an hour drive for me). I told him that I had to work tonight, so he asked me if I could come see him on my day off. I told him I'd get back to him.

So now I'm pretty confused. Truth is, I'd love to see him again. But I have a feeling that's just salt in a wound. And I don't want to ruin potential with this new guy by stirring up feelings for the ex. I just wish I knew what he was trying to do by asking to see me...

I feel like I know what I "should" do, but I'd still like to get some other perspectives on this... I know it seems petty, but I'm really unsure about this.

View related questions: broke up, my ex, text

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A female reader, bfly36 United States +, writes (16 June 2008):

bfly36 agony auntDoes he know you are seeing someone already? if that's the case then its my experience that when a man loses a woman and then finds out she is dating, he wants her back. However if he does not know you are dating, he may be genuine that he misses you. You just met the other guy so i dont think you will be messing things up with him if u meet with your ex once, just be careful not to get involved in a Roller coaster with his ups and downs. If he is not decided if he wants to be with you and is eventually moving farther, it may be a good idea to tough it out and NOt go. Good Luck

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