A
male
age
41-50,
*iper13
writes:i just broke up with my girlfreind.we been together for 10 yrs.we have three girls.its been going on a month that we haven't been together.bout a week after we saperated she starting seeing a co-worker and now they been seeing each other every other day.she constanly texts this new guy.let me tell you.i can't just stop talking to her because we have kids and do my best to help her with our girls.and we still hang out because of or girls.i sometimes watch them at her place when she goes to work.she still helps me out and sometimes she brings me lunch.i tryed talking to her bout us but she didn't seem like she wanted to hear it so i stoped.she told me that she dosen't want to be with anyone rite now.but i know that her and new guy are than just freinds.she says she wouldn't be with him because he has no kids.about a week ago she told me to come by and we hungout with our kids.the kids are always telling me don't go home dad stay with us.that hurts..that night i was ready to go and the kids asked her is dad going home she told them not yet so i ended up staying ther.and its been bout week that i been staying with she hasn't told me that she wants me back and i don't try to ask.shes still seeing this guy.but i don't know what wants she treats me like we were are together but we aren't.i still care about her and i do love her its kinda hard to just let go.i don't how she jus let go it seem easy for.since we broke up we slept together twice she told me she wanted to make love with me one last.and the second time we were jus lying ther talking and it happened.i rub her back and legs jus like i always did she never moves away or gets mad.but i really don't know what i should do i do want her back..she says she cares about me but she tells me she don't love me like i use to whatever that means.i feel stuck i want to jus move on but its hard and i don't know if she is still in love me or if she wants me back what are good signs that she wants me back.i miss her..
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female
reader, BeBlessed  +, writes (18 July 2012):
 give her ring at a romantic time like dinner or something. dont worry about that other guy, he really ha sad nothing on you, you know everything about her and gave her the children, if shes happy you found the ring then obviously she still has hope things could work out. you make the first move because your the man and women like a man in controll.
but dont make the same old moves that you uaed to use. be different, exciting, think out side the box, shel know how much you still care when she can see how hard to worked planning the perfect night.
and about you staying just for the girls, it wouldve been for her too. try stay there one night this week and plan a beautiful night for yous, set everything up and go for it. tell her everything you wana tell her like i was such an egg to let you go just like that..im gonna keep fighting till i get you back, and do that, jst keep fighting like taking her out, show up the other guy by showing your love by actions, shel notice your trying way harder than him and that she still owns your heart. you won her over once, im sure you can do it again. just please dont stress to much over her txting him etc because its only txting. id rather have a romantic night with a babies father the man who i loved rather than txt..think about it, which one would you pick hehe.
A
male
reader, viper13 +, writes (18 July 2012):
viper13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks you for the info the person who answerd anonyoums.will i recently went back to my place so im not stayin with ex.but we txt and me and her are taking collge classes.shes been picking me up for class so i go with her everyday 2 class but she takes me back 2 my placse after class i haven't tryed anything yet with her.but i want to but she s always txting the guy she met and thy meet.i want to try to fix our relationship but that guy is in the way.she told me the other day that she only let me stay with her because of the girls our kids.so that the kids can be happy.you think it was because she missed me or cuz she wants me back.lately we been txting and she seems different before when we would txt it was jus shrot words.let me tell you my ex has a beauitful smile and very deep dimples.and since we were together i never told her thats what i fell in love with.but last night we were txting i told her that i fell in love with her smile and her dimples she was all happy.and today i found a ring that i bought her bout 6 yrs ago. i told her that i found threw a txt and she was like wow.i gave it to her long time ago but she gave it back to me when we had an arguement.so i kept it and saved it i something engraved on it which says dimples cuz thats what i called her. when i told her i found it she was all happy i thought she would have been like oh whatever or somethin.but she was all happy she was all thats cool you found it.should i give it to her or wait tell were back together.i really want her back.i think shes starting to feel something but i can't tell.i don't want to make a move jus yet should i wait for her to make da first move or shuld i just go for it.its just hard cuz that guy is in the way.if she didn't want me she proly wouldn't be doing the things she does rite. or am i jus being used.what are good signs she wants me or is she conflicted please give me answers or some info..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): i very highly doubt she loves this guy.You are the father of her kids and you have been together for years so i dont think she'll just move on that quick and fall for someone else. no doubt your the love of her life and she's yours, just show her.. Actions are louder than words, go feel her up when she's doing the dishes and tell her shes beautiful and she'll always be the love of your life, she hasn't ditched her love for you or you wouldn't be staying there..She's keeping an eye on you so she knows your not seeing anyone else, bet she hasnt even slept with him, she might just be doing this to see if you get jelsous or what not. a womens mind is full of little games like that, i have no idea why its just how women are. try reading this book "women are from venus, men are from mars" its a short book and itl help you understand how the female brain works.A sign she's not in love with him is she hasn't seen him for a week! Bet she saw you every day when you both got together, and another sign is your staying there and not him. she doesnt want to talk about your relationship because she probly thinks yous will end up arguing which anit good around the kids. dress sexy all the time lol, shave your face, buy new calone i swear itl help ALOT.! Take her out, do things together that you shouldve done when she was your mrs, even get someone to watch the kids and fill the house with candels, petals etc, all women love that. or suduce her and tell her how much you love her and wish you never let her go. shit even purpose.! lol she mightve been waiting all those years for you to pop the question then got fed up with waiting.i honestly believe any relationship can be rekindled, its because your so familiar with each other why your finding it hard to start a convo, when people are to familiar theyre not gona hold back when they get angry or upset, like i said just make her fall inlove all over again to get that spark back you need to be romantic. act how you first acted when you met her, tell her she still gives you butterflys when she bends over or something like that lol. hope this helps.?? good luck matey :) everything will work out. just have faith and hope in your women!! ;)
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A
male
reader, viper13 +, writes (17 July 2012):
viper13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe women who answered my story..thank you..i been staying with my kids mom 4 bout a week now.but we still aren't together i haven't talked to her or told her anything bout getting back together.because shes to into the guy shes seeing but she hasn't seen him 4 a week.but thy always text each other.i don't know what to tell her or how i should start the convo with her.do you think its to late to try to get her back.what if shes really in love with this guy.can you really fall that hard and fast 4 someone?i want to try to talk to her but it seems like she ignours me.i been wondering why she has me here with her she hasn't told me to leave.i don't get it does this mean she wants me back or is she just keepin me 4 back up if it don't work out.to me i don't think her and this new guy wil last cause she has kids and he don't.what is a good sign that shes not serious or with this guy or whats a good sign that she wants me back.when i do try to talk bout our relationship with her she gets mad or she trys to blow me off.i really want her back.its jus hard because of this new guy.i read one of her texts and he wrote he couldn't wait to see her again and her texts was i can't wait to.but she didn't put like i love you or things like that.i thought she would have been texting stuff like i love you stuff.do you think shes really serouis bout him or is he a rebound.and is a rebound just a way to forget bout how she really feels...i know she cares about me she still does things for me and helps me out but don't know if she really loves me.. i need mor info if you can help me out or what i could tell her to bring that fire...
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2012): i am a women and i used the exact sentence on my man that your wife used (i dont love you like i used too) theres your solution.!! women communicate completly different to men. what that means is (i really miss the spark we had when we first got together, i miss the things we used to do, the sex, the excitment and the little things)
If you want her back you can get her! just think back to before yous had kids and settled down, bet you used to tell her shes sexy and how attracted you are to her and make feel special.. make her fall inlove with you all over again and yous will work things out, shes probly just board of the same old same old. her having sex with you twice after breaking up shows she still wants you, she just wants abit of excitement aswell.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2012): You need to clarify the circumstances under which the two of you separated.
On first read I interpreted "I just broke up with my girlfriend" to mean it was your idea to break up with her, but your narrative seems to indicate otherwise.
One question in the meantime: after ten years and three children together, why didn't you ever get married? That's the big problem with shacking up, since there's no obligation or commitment, either party is free to end the relationship and walk away unfettered at any time, very unfair to and unfortunate for any children involved as you are now belatedly discovering.
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