A
female
age
30-35,
*rod7744
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. and after the first 2 years he left me to be with one of my friends, i was depressed for those 4 months he left me. in between that time he would come back and say he wanted to be with me and i would take him back and i would tell him never to speak to her again, and of course he did, and this step continued for about 4 more times. And they were lengthy, we would be together for 2 months then he will start talking to her again and stay with her for 2weeks to a month , and during this time i was sad depressed angrty and hurting. So all in all this went on for about 6 months. Untill finally i had enough and when i found out he was talking to her again i left him this time, and he felt the pain , he called and called and texted me for 2 months straight and i never replied . I started going to church and just being me and hangin gout with my friends. It was about 3 weeks before my graduation and i started texting him back (just as friends) and i told him " we are just friends i moved on and if you cant handel being friends then we wont be anything" so he agreed to it. From time to time he would get carried way and would want to see me and talk about "us " but i always told him the deal . So on my graduation day he came with my family and they all sat together.From the time of us being friends he claimed that he changed so much and that he took me for granted and thatt he would treat me how i should be treated and always saying he just needs one more chance. But to me this would be like the 6th chance, i tell him , " you dont understand how much you hurt me and what pain you put me through ". So after graduation i gave in and gave him a chance, and its been amazing. He is completly different, i mean its only been 3 months but this is the guy i wanted all along.... But... here's the but.. this time its me. i Find myself doing all the things he did to me , For example: going out and not answering his calls, talking to other guys, wanting to be single, and when im with my friends i dont bother to a girlfriend. And i know it is completly wrong, but it isnt intentionally . Its like my mins set and his switched , he is the one blowong my phone up now and im the one not wanting to talk about anything. And when fights like this happen he tells me "why are you doing this to me , i have been doing the best i can " and its true cause i see it in him .And we are the type that gets mad at each other and break up and then the next day back together , its really immature and i try to prevent that as much as possible because he is 20 and im 18 , we arent in school anymore.do when i break up with him , i feeel fine, i dont worry and i let him call mea million times and him stress even if its my fault, but when its the other way around , (he breaks up with me , even through he doesnt do it as much as i do cause the new him really wants me to be happy so he never breaks upw ith me) i go crazy , i cry , call him a miilion times text him and i just go hay wire :/ and i see it as a selfish reason but i cant help myself ..I mean i found my self getting mad at him for no reasons, i love him i really do , but i dont know whats going on with me . Do i really love him ? or is my mind just trying to get even and make him suffer and go through the pain he put me through?
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male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (24 August 2009):
 I think you two should go your seperate ways. One reason you guys act like this is probably that you both are young and, right now, your relationship with each other can't grow further because neither of you are ready to get married and both of you need to check out whats out there in your own lives before you can be serious with each other. You two just need to live a little first. Date around. If you guys find different people to be with then thats good. But, you could also end up together later down the line when you are ready. Thats good too. So give it a try. You never know.
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