A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months. Things are really great between us and we are thinking about taking the next step and getting a house together. It wouldn't be until the new year anyway but things are getting serious and I couldn't be happier. I know it's early days but I love him, and he makes me feel so safe and secure. It's not like any other relationship I have ever had. But then he shocked me, and I mean really shocked me by telling me he had once had 'a thing' with another guy who he was friends with at the time. We were just watching a film and talking and I don't really know how it came up but it did. I think something must of happened in the film that made us talk about gay relationships. Anyway, I'm not homophobic or anything, but I didn't know what to say to that. He noticed I was confused and told me that he hadn't had sex with this guy but they had 'kissed and a touched each other'. His exact words. He is adamant he isn't gay or even bisexual but for whatever reason it happened. He said he didn't want to say anything because he knew how it looked and he didn't want me to think of him like that. I didn't really say anything because what do you say to something like that.That was last weekend, and ever since I just can't bring myself to sleep with him, or even go further then a kiss. He keeps saying that if I want to talk to him about it then we can, but it was really nothing and there is no reason for it to matter to us. I just can't see passed it. What would you ladies do or think if your straight boyfriend just announced he had once kissed and touched another guy like he was telling you about his day? It was before me, but don't know if I'm okay with it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2014): If it was before you then it was before you.
I'd try not to dwell on it too much.
He's with you and 'Things are really great between you and you are thinking about taking the next step and getting a house together.' Move on from this. Don't try to understand it. Some things are just not knowable. As long as you feel he puts his all in your relationship and as long as you feel his all is enough then try to forget this.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 November 2014):
 I would think that he was a perfectly normal human being who was bi-curious tried it out and realized he didn't like it.
KUDOS to him for being upfront and honest with you.
As a bisexual woman I hate the double standard humans in general have for men vs women when it comes to sexuality.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (5 November 2014):
And to add to that, my own husband experimented with men when he was younger, doesn't change my love for him or my confidence in his love for me in the slightest.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (5 November 2014):
I wouldn't think anything of it, but I am a LOT older than you. More men have experimented with other men than will ever admit it. He sounds like a very honest young man.
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