A
female
age
36-40,
*tar2010
writes:I am a 23yr old virgin. Whenever I go out men are always complimenting me..asking if Im a model.. and trying to get my number. I am tall, i work out, eat healthy, am very stylish/classy, and I love God. I have guys ask me out sometimes (past aquaintances from college, not new guys) but I don't trust many of them and the ones I met drink, curse, have pre-marital sex and still hang out in clubs. I've never even been to a club in my entire life!I am a fun and good hearted girl who has a close relationship with God. I believe that sex is only for marriage and when I am in a relationship with someone...I want there to be a purpose. I have had crushes and "talked" to guys in the past but it never led to a relationship. I fell hard for this one dude in college but he led me on for 2yrs and then got engaged to someone else. And I only kissed one guy in my entire life when I was 19yrs old. (which is fine with me) I have had my mother and other family members spread lies about me and betray me because of their own issues. Since then, I am not the same free spirited and "happy" innocent 18yr old college freshman that I once was. I tend to view most if not all people as dishonest and no good potential liars....I'm really trying not to be that way. I usually spend my time at home practicing my music to perform live. Other than that, I have not met any new people and definitely ZERO new guys which I'm okay with. I have no social life though, most young people my age don't think like me.The other day my friend called me up and told me about one of her guy friends who she wants me to meet. She said he is 26 and never had a gf. She also told me that he reminded her of me and that she talks to him about me all the time. As she mentioned that; my body got so hot (in an uncomfy way) and I quickly brushed her offer off. Guys make me nervous because I can't trust anybody anymore. I've never even been on a date yet.My question is....what would guys my age think of a chick like me?? Be Honest...I can handle it. xo
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (6 September 2010):
It sounds like you are trying to be anti-social, and asking for support in that decision.
Did you also post the question "What do guys my age think of young ladies like me???" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-do-guys-my-age-think-of-young.html ?
If so, continuing the discussion in THAT thread would show a decent respect for the people who tried to help you there.
Similarly, you are disrespecting your friend's judgment by passing off the opportunity to meet the guy she suggested to you. OK, it's true that folks your age aren't especially good as matchmakers. Older adults - who know your personality and interests - are more likely to be successful at suggesting compatible friends. But your friend wasn't asking you for a lifetime commitment - she only wanted you to meet somebody who might become a friend. Before you put a lot of effort into finding a life partner you should think about finding people who can be friends and companions, without any romantic or sexual involvement.
A
female
reader, dharrower +, writes (6 September 2010):
You are a good woman who respects herself. You shouldn't be occupied with what others think of you. Live your life the way you want to. It's alright to be afraid of the unknown. Try it out, you might enjoy yourself. If it fails, all is not lost because you have learned an experience.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (6 September 2010):
 Well, shy girls who have a hard time with guys tend to get really, really attached to any guy who can get them out of their shell. My first girlfriend was like that. Some guys know that and will work for it. That's the good news.
Bad news: Your demanor will turn away many men. This includes almost all the guys who only want sex, but also good Christian men who don't want to deal with your hangups, or who fear that your nervousness around guys will translate to a low sex drive after marriage.
Getting a husband is going to involve finding a guy who is willing to spend the time to build up your trust, then subtly convincing him that, after marriage, you will be a devoted wife, mother, and sex goddess. On the plus side, your inexperience is a good thing in the marriage market.
To improve your dating life: Most guys are basically decent (girls too, for that matter, but that's not relevant here). You can afford to trust any guy your friends know to be ok for a date. They will try to impress you, and if they're bad at it, it comes of as dishonesty and pride, but give them a chance to relax and you'll see which ones are the good ones. Good luck.
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