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What was that attracted me about her? I was never attracted to her physically!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, Friends, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 September 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 September 2008)
A male United States age 51-59, *oofyguy writes:

Hi there.

I dated "her" for 4 months. LOVED everything about her but...when it came time for sex..I wasnt attracted.or was I ...cant figure it out!!.We did a few times a week after much effort on my part...I always had to think of other women ughhh. I left her and now miss the hell out of her!!!!! She wasnt the prettiest and didnt have the greatest body.never worked out...and I do!.(I KNOW i sound shallow and am not!) But her personality could light up a city...oh GOD!

The other problem is that her ex of 4 years was ALWAYS around...they have the same friends. As soon as i ended it...guess who was there a minute later...now she says shes happy with him...and if it wasnt for him she would get back with me...horrible triangle.

How do I help myself get over her.

I think the only reason i want her back is because she is with him. I love her BUT what do I love??? and she says she loves me....

I also think if I win her back...its all going to come down to the end of the day in the bedroom..and I will be the same way Im NOT gay either!!

What do I make of all of this and what do I do??

Thanks..

Stuck here

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A male reader, goofyguy United States +, writes (6 September 2008):

goofyguy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

from original poster...

I know...hanging out was the best with her!

It put alot of pressure on me when she said she had a huge sex drive...i knew there was trouble coming...or is it that im near 40 and losing the drive??? BUT i do remember things I like to do that never even crossed my mind in bed with her...and you know we never even really kissed..i mean romantic style. Can I be honest... she had some hair growth problem that "when not shaved right" would rub me like stubble and it turned me off.when kissing..I KNOW this sounds horrible...BUT this is a truthful forum. Why does my heart hurt like when i left a girl a while ago that I KNEW i loved and had wonderful sex with...GOD this is the wierdest thing I have gone thru...I swim a mile a day (and love being in shape)and I know she will never Pick up a weight and that kills me. Thanks for all the advice my friends!

YOU are awesome!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008):

Sometimes the best part of a relationship is not the romantic one. The best memories of a relationship I have are of times when I was just chatting with the girl, enjoying each other's company, nothing physical. You probably had something similar, but you moved further too quickly. If possible, start over, otherwise move on. There really is nothing more you can do.

I hope this helped

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A female reader, gojira343 United States +, writes (6 September 2008):

first of all you got a great friendship confused....you cant really be with someone sexually if you are not attracted to them! its better to be just friends if all the elements to a relationship arent there than you wont have a healthy relationship...and no matter who your with and you break up and you find out that they are with someone else ( even if it wasnt serious at all) you always get a little jealous....so just try to be frioends and relize thats all it really was and still is!

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