A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was recently speaking to my girlfriend about sex, and she kind of let slip that she 'until recently' couldn't actually have sex because of a medical condition. She said only that is was apparently not that rare, and now it is fine (presumably through an operation or something). She was very embarrassed obviously and didnt want to talk about it. Anyway I'm just curious to know if anyone could hazard a guess at this unknown condition? Im a bit unsure about trying to sleep with her if there is something i should know, like she is still shy, or maybe its become physically sensitive, or even harmful to her or me or something related to this 'condition'.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): Hi I asked this quesion.
You are all surprisingly knowlegable and helpful by the way (considering this is the internet)...thanks.
Anyway I know she is a virgin(she told me) but its not because of that Im pretty sure. I didnt say 'let's have sex now' and she was like I CANT. She said that she never used to be able to, until recently. Which almost means do have sex with me in a way.
She actually just let it slep by accident in a non pressured non romantic context when i made a random sex-related joke.She is mature and open with me, and if she wanted to stay a virgin she would definitelly just tell me.
The only other thing it could be, I just realised, is that she might have been embarrassed of being a virgin, and tried to cover it up because she knows I havnt been for a while and didnt want to seem immature...
Or is that a bit optimistic of me?
Im relatively sure she would be happy to lose it with me, but the annoying thing is that I pretty much have to get this story out of her first..eek.
A
female
reader, iloveyou2  +, writes (16 January 2011):
 could be as simple as she was on her period but didnt want to say
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): Google "Vaginismus".
From wikipedia: "Vaginismus, sometimes anglicized vaginism is the German name for a condition which affects a woman's ability to engage in any form of vaginal penetration, including sexual intercourse, insertion of tampons, and the penetration involved in gynecological examinations. This is the result of a reflex of the pubococcygeus muscle, which is sometimes referred to as the "PC muscle". The reflex causes the muscles in the vagina to tense suddenly, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration—including sexual intercourse—painful or impossible."
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Could just be thrush. Very common and would not be nice to have sex with a case of that. Could have been some kind of infection or Endometriosis, which is pretty common and could have required some kind of operation.
But we can't really tell you what is was for sure, only make assumptions. If she feels comfortable telling you one day maybe she will.
I wouldn't be too concerned though, it's unlikely to be something that will effect you. If she says it's fine now you have to believe her really.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): Human pap virus.. search HPV. It is not rare. A lot of girls get this and it is carried by males. Girls may receive treatment such as surgery to get rid of abnormal cells. However, she carries the virus for forever. And condoms do not prevent this HPV. Just research it.
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A
female
reader, bigirlneedshelp_91  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 i got cut off as i was saying she have had a type of Orgasmic dysfunction ( is when a woman either can't reach orgasm, or has difficulty reaching orgasm when she is sexually excited. Here a link to read about it. http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001953.htm )
if you are unsure. take to her. i know that she was very embarrassed but if you to are having sex ya'll need to be open about these things.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Is she a virgin? Because if so, she's most likely not ready to have sex and she's probably ashamed to tell you. Not that virginity is something bad, but most guys don't give a damn about it so she's probably scared to lose you.
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A
female
reader, Clare2011  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Hi,
I dont know of any condition that you have described, im pretty sure i would if there was one. I think your girlfriend may be a virgin and is very embarassed judging by her reaction. I dont think you should accuse her of this or anything. Just broach the subject again and ask her would she like to start a sexual relationship with you and ask her to tell you honestly how she is feeling. just ve caring and understanding. hth clare
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Any number of infections could do it - and not just sexually transmitted ones. She could have sat on a dirty toilet seat, for instance. Those can be cured, for the most part, so if she says it's gone, it probably is.
If you're concerned, you can ask to see a doctor's note on it.
There are other possible causes, but I'm not a doctor, so that's all I know.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Virginity is a condition.
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