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What to think about my boyfriend's 'best friend'?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 May 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 May 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi a few months ago I met a friend of a friend and we became very close. We started a relationship about a month ago and things have been great.

My only problem is his best friend. Now His best friend's boyfriend is one of my close friends so we all kind of know each other.

My problem is that my boyfriend sends his "best" friend lovehearts and kisses in every text message and even says he loves him. Now I wasn't used to this but apparently it's common among best friends. So I kinda went with it.

However before we got together I was at a party with my friend, my now boyfriend and his bestfriend. Along with a few other non-relevant people.

Anyway my (now) boyfriend was kissing and snuggling with his best friend all night really passionately and I believe they slept in the same bed (no idea if they did anything).

Obviously it didn't bother me because we were not going out at the time, but it bothers me now because obviously they have feelings for each other if they would spend the night kissing.

I asked my BF about it and he is adamant they are only friends but the doubt is always in my mind.

And tonight I found out that his bestfriend was around at his house tonight "chilling" and he didn't even mention it to me. Apparently he didn't think it was important to mention.

My question really is am I being too over protective or is their genuine scope for doubt here?

-----

Slightly unrelated but my boyfriend has also been telling his bestfriend EVERYTHING. Everything I do with my BF is shared I was mortified when I found out he has been sharing details about our sex life with him.

Again is this normal for best friend to talk about???

Please help guys I really don't know what to think.

Thanks.

View related questions: best friend, kissing, sex life, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011):

i'm a gay female so it's a little different obviously, but i know from my perspective that i call my best friends who are also gay girls "love" and "sweetheart" and "babe." and it doesn't mean anything.

i haven't kissed them though, but it probably wouldn't be weird if i did just cause we're so close. and i definitely have cuddled with them, and it's purely platonic. it's just for fun. so my opinion to this question is that i could almost see this being relatively normal. i wouldn't worry too much about it.

but if you really have a problem with it, put a stop to it. let him know what is and is not okay with you, and if he's not willing to respect you, don't be with him. best of luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011):

um...your boyfriend is gay. coming from a guy, let me tell you one thing for certain: we DON'T, under any circumstance, cuddle or kiss or really ever even touch, for that matter. that's absolutely not normal.

i would really get to the bottom of this if i were you

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