A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My friend and the first love of my life walked away three months ago. She said she needed time and space to sort out her life (she's a single mom). I understood that but in my last email, I told her how much she meant to me and hoped she'd still stay in touch (long distance relationship). She said it wasn't anything personal against me, but then disappeared. I was sad but had a feeling it was finally over. It took me some time but eventually I got over her and tried to move on with my life. Several times I wanted to email and ask how she was but didn't because I felt she could (and maybe should) have made the first move, she knew how I felt about her. Flash forward, I got an unexpected charge for something I used to help her with. In the old days I probably would have taken care of it but felt now that if she didn't want to see me, let alone talk to me, I wasn't going to pay for it. So I contacted her to explain the situation. To my surprise not only was she very apologetic about the charge, but is talking to me like she never disappeared and even wants to get together in a few days. I really want to see her but don't want to look too desperate. I want to enjoy the moment and not dwell on the past (problem I used to have), but kinda feel I deserve an explanation about what happened. What do you think? Should I be completely honest with her about how I feel? Should I relax and be coy, letting her drive the conversation? A combination of both approaches or something else? thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI should note in the past on occasion (but not often) I have offered to help her out financially. She rarely accepts and when she has, she has always repaid me.
Still, my antenna are raised very much on this one and I'm going to tread lightly. Find it odd she's talking to me now, wonder if she would have had I not contacted her first or this particular situation had not arisen.
Thanks for the word of caution.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 January 2011):
Perhaps it's just me, but did you notice how quick she was to suggest meeting up when you told her about the charge that you wouldn't pay? I mean, three months she's been gone and you've not heard a peep from her. You then tell he about a charge, and suddenly it's like the good old days and she suggests meeting up. Hell, even you were surprised. And that means that something is wrong.
Tread very, VERY carefully with this woman. I don't know what she's been up to, but I've got a gut feeling that you might wind up as her ATM card. I don't like the fact that she said nothing, then you talked about money and she suddenly wanted to meet up. Something's not right.
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