A
male
age
30-35,
*gmitch
writes:Hi there,I'm going through a bit of a problem and was hoping for some advice.I am gay and I love going out into the gay scene but where I stay theres only 1 bar/club in the city so everybody goes there. I never had any gay friends or anybody really until going into the bar one night.I got introduced into a group of gays/lesbians and they were so nice to let me into there group and we are now great friends. But I've started to notice that the guys are starting to come onto me. Now I've tried to be really nice to them but I'm really not interested (theres really no nice way to put it), but they won't take no for an answer and it's really starting to break my heart because I hate being mean or nasty to people but they won't seem to back off and they seem really interested in me.But the worst part is, I've started to get a few crushes on a few of the other guys in the bar, I've been introduced to them and we have spoke but they don't really seem to care at all if I'm speaking to them or trying to be nice to them.It's really upsetting that I don't feel anything for the guys coming onto me and I have to say no and then just getting pushed aside by the guys I do like.It sounds like karma but I'm trying so hard to be nice to the guys who like me and trying to give them a chance but it's just not working and I'm trying to let them down easily.What do I do? I've told the guys several times to basically back off but they don't seem to care and keep trying yet the other guys just don't care that I'm there. It just feels like I have to go for somebody I don't really have any feelings for.
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male
reader, der_zyniker  +, writes (24 August 2010):
Don't ever settle for anyone. If these other guys aren't intersted in you then just leave them be. Someday you'll find someone wonderful that you are crazy about and they feel the same way about you.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (23 August 2010):
 dont go for just anyone if you cannot get what you want- i bet the people coming onto you are not as attractive as the ones that you fancy at the bar. gay men are often very direct and dont take no for an answer.
when you chat to the ones you fancy be direct and ask leading questions like- are you seeing anyone at the moment? etc. that make it obvious what you are looking for without directly stating your intent to them. then go from there, to get what you want in life sometimes you have to be direct...
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