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anonymous
writes: A few months ago, i broke up with my long term boyfriend, i may be only 15 but i really need to get some advice on this, i really loved him, never felt towards anybody else like this before, and although we are still good mates, i feel like there is still something between us, he is 18 years old and lives down in currey while i'm in leeds and he used to come and visit every fortnight. I keep seeing his name everywhere and i just can't get him out of my head, we broke up in october last year, and i'm afraid if i tell him how i feel , he'll think i'm an obsessed teenager and i'm not i can asure u. hes offering to come and visit again soon and i just don't know what to do, i don't know whether the atmosphere will be awkward between us or what he'll expect from me or just how far he'll let me go. This has been bugging on my mind for weeks and i'm clueless as o what i should do, please help me.thanks, sainte xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, nina, writes (6 February 2005): he is coming over? then get yourself ready!!! what are you scared for? go get yourself the most sexiest but casual outfit you can find. do something with your hair, nothing too different and then wait for his arrival. when he comes act cool calm and collected, like you be with a boy you like. chat to him normally i mean you two have been together for some time you have loads you could talk about. if you want him back then only you as his long term ex gal should know the way to go. you know which buttons to push in order to get his attention. if it does not work out then do not worry babe, it may seem like he is the only one but fate has a way of playing real good tricks on you. you never know you could be walking down the street and the most sexiest man on earth will look your way. just be cool that is my advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2005): Hi sainte.I have recently split up with a long-term girlfriend aswell. A lot of the issues that you have raised, also came up in my previous relationship. I think that you should definately tell him how you feel. You are obviously close, and know each other well, therefore you should not worry about telling him. In my situation, I still see/ visit my ex-girlfriend, and I still love her.This may be the case with your ex-boyfriend....after all, you did finish with him. The fact that he still sees you, and that you are friends proves that there are still feelings involved. If he still feels the same and wants to try again, you must work out why you ended the relationship with him, and sort out that problem so that your relationship can be stronger in the future. You should rely on your instincts that there is still something special between you and your ex. If he does not feel the same then remember why you finished with him, and how you felt at the time. I agree with the last answer that was left....if he does reject you, you must stop seeing him. If you do not, you will not be able to move on....it is hard enough to get over someone that you cared very deeply about, especially if you still see each other often. I have found this in previous relationships to be true in preious relationships.I hope it all turns out well for you Sainte and if not, he is not right for you.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (1 February 2005):
 HiYou could go about this in two ways. You could ask him how he feels for you as he continues to visit you. Is this purely as mates? Or you could explain to him that you still care about him and would love to give it another go. Either way, you need to establish where you stand. It may be awkward, may be difficult but if you don't ask, you don't get!However, dare I say it, you are very young and though you do sound very mature, you do need to meet other people and have a great social life. Go out and mix with others. This will also come in handy in case he reveals that he doesn't feel the same way.Also, if he doesn't feel the same way, consider whether you will still want his visits to continue. Will you be able to cope with just being friends or will a clean break be necessary?Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2005): Well my advice to you is that you wern't ready to break up with him. Unless he did something really wrong. It is hard to tell you what to do since I don't know the reason you broke up. If he did something wrong that was unforgivable then don't let him come visit and you just need time without seeing him to get over him. It will happen believe me I was there plenty of times before I got married. On the other hand if he didn't do anything wrong then tell him how you feel. When I was in high school I dated my husband for a year on and off and now 5 years later we got back together and got married. All you have to do is communicate, tell him your feelings it won't hurt to try and if he shoots you down and rejects you then get back up on your feet and be strong tell him that he can't come visit you anymore. Have you thought that there is a reason for his visits??? Whatever you do first tell him how you feel and if he doesn't feel the same then leave it at that. It is hard to get over someone you cared very deeply about but it will happen. Good luck and I hope I helped you.
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