A
female
age
26-29,
*weetest_sin
writes:It has been a long time since my boyfriend and best friend spoke to each other. It's not the solution I wanted and it was certainly not what I wanted to happen, nevertheless suggesting it. 6 months ago, they were so close together. So close that my boyfriend would just literally have a 2 day delay from replying with my messages because they've been texting, calling each other for hours, my best friend would just carelessly flirt with him in front of me and there were times when they'd just go out on the weekends with a few other people.At first it didn't really affect me, we were all good friends together and hey, if my they got along then that's better than them not getting along. It didn't start to get to me until my boyfriend, began paying less attention towards me. He'd just focus on her all the time and since we share the same nickname, I'd turn around to find out he's calling someone else. It began to annoy me, how she knew every little thing about him and I tried my best to get to know him and they just clicked instantly. I was hurt by that...I just steered clear and away, to hang out with my other guy friends, it was wrong to try to fill in that missing gap with them but I had no other choice.It was when I couldn't take it any more that I told my boyfriend about how I felt. I cried to him and when he tried to comfort me I pushed him away before I broke down in his arms. He was sorry and guilty for pushing me aside because he never knew how I felt. As for my best friend when I told her SHE WAS THE ONE WHO BEGAN CRYING, telling me that I never trusted her, that I'm a horrible friend, that he's important to her (she's been single for 2 years now) and I'm gonna take him away. So now they're ignoring each other, because apparently it's for the best. The "best" for me.A few weeks ago, my best friend sent me and email saying that it was all my fault that they weren't talking, that she hates me for that, because I took him away... I was upset and guilty. I tried to fix things, I did my best.But my boyfriend refuses to speak to her, he said that he doesn't wanna risk everything just to get me hurt and that she's being upset for no reason...I don't know what to do any more, any advice?(me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and a half and I've known my best friend for 2 years)
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female
reader, MissEmily  +, writes (23 March 2009):
 It sounds like a bit of a pickle, it aint the end of the world though.Talk to your friend, explain to her how you felt, but tbh, if she were your true friend she wouldn't react like that. Sounds to me like she was the jealous one and is wanting to gain attention. Your BF sound pretty cool tho, but tell him he doesn't need to ignore your friend and that wasn't what you wanted at all, and I kinda agree with him that she's getting way too upset, and blaming you which she shouldn't be.All you can really do is explain to her that you haven't asked your BF to ignore her and it isn't your fault, hopefully then she will stop 'hating' you, if not..she'll get over it someday and if she was a true friend and wanted your friendship she'd be fine :) Just have fun yeah don't get too hung up on things, you've done nothing wrong :) and you've still got your BF :)
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