A
male
age
41-50,
*anuck
writes:So I met this girl online, I live in canada she's in the US. Shes been married before and it didnt work out, also in a pretty shitty relationship where the guy turned out to be married. Im a single dad, my daughters 11 and they've met and are fine with each other.We talk a lot ( phone, msnger) Ive been to see her twice and shes been here twice as well.We've had some communication issues that were exacerbated by the distance but I think those are beyond us. She told me she wanted to break up because of it but i just kept talking 2 her and we seem to be ok now. Recently i brought up the topic of marriage and she is always reluctant to discuss it. she says she loves me and always will but has committment issues ( she brough up Carrie from Sex and the City today). Im going to see her in a few weeks, I love this woman so much it physically hurts and I dont get the sense she feels differently. She just says she focuses on short term goals because they are easier to achieve and marriage is too long term for her to think about now. I know she wants kids, she even mentioned having a wedding dress in her closet at home over the weekend.My question is this should i take the bull by the horns and take the ring with me, or should i wait for a more opportune time.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Listen to what she is telling you. Why do you have to get married straight away? Have the confidence in yourself to allow the relationship to develop. Youve only met her in person a few times, thats a bit full on wanting to get married now.
You seem to have a picture in your head of how it will be when you are married, are you sure she has the same one? Wouldn´t it be better to create a picture together, over time, as you get to know each other more? Concentrate on now, what is wonderful in life, and realize you have plenty of time.
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