A
female
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anonymous
writes:I am wondering if I should tell my mum about this new guy im dating. I am 18 years old and yes I know that since I am an adult I do not have to tell her, but it would be nice to be able to open up to her and have her blessing. And also my mum is pretty good at picking out bad people so it would mean a lot to me if she approved of him, I would feel much more safe. I know I will eventually tell her about him, its just a question of when. The problem is you see, I had a serious bf last year, who abused me (I broke up with him) and I think she is very scared that a similar thing will happen to me so shes not too keen on my dating again. Shes also not to keen because she says that a fair majority of guys my age just want one thing and also because she would rather me focus on my university studies. I understand all those points and think they are very valid...but I really do like this guy so I want to give him a shot. I just dont know what to do about telling my mum. With my last abusive bf, I didnt let her meet him until I was pretty serious about him which I later regreted because I think if I would of let my mum meet him earlier and if I would of told her more about what went on in our relationship she would of been able to make me see that he wasnt a good guy. So any advice? thanks :)
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female
reader, scythe +, writes (13 February 2008):
 Hey there,You sound alot like me two months ago. Except I never had a boyfriend before (I'm 18 too). I can understand your nervous about telling her that you are dating again. You sound very mature and have thought this through alot, so I don't see why she will have a problem with you dating this guy. Basically, when you have a moment with her alone, come out and say "Mom, I want to date this guy and I want you to know about it". I think she will be far happier if you tell her beforehand, rather than if she finds out afterwards since she might think you have something to hide. Basically, verbalise everything you have written here in your question and I'm sure she will give you her blessings.Good luck! And I hope he is a great guy.Scythexox
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): I think you are very grown up about wanting to tell your mum about this new guy. It must be difficult after all you've been thro too. I'm glad to hear that you want her to kno about him and that you want to be able to talk to her about him - thats always good! I think the 3 of you should go out for dinner, somewhere not too formal but that you can all chat and talk cos at least that way you are in a different environment other than home. Cos at home knowing what mum's are like, she would prob feel like she is under pressure to have everything perfect for this guy. At least at a restuarant or bistro there won't be that pressure. Best of luck with everything xx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 February 2008):
 If you think you are comfortable letting her know, then invite him home for dinner. Ask your mother first and feel her out.
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar  +, writes (13 February 2008):
 I think you should tell your mum, it sounds like you have a great understanding with her, plus it never hurts to have the perspective of someone who will be completely honest with you.I think it's very possible to do well in your studies while maintaining a good relationship also.
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