A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone...I'm having a little bit of trouble here, I've been in a relationship with this great guy for a little more that 3 years, and we've haad our ups and down but everything got better and we grew up together as a couple, we even bought our home but I'm not living with him until I get married with him... family issuesanyway, a couple of weeks ago he received a job offer in another state, more money of course, but that meant moving there, so I started to freak out, the first night he told me about it, of course I cried because just thinking about the possibility of him going away, it hurt, so he spoke with me and calmed me down, so the days went by and all the new job issue lasted for 2 weeks, he never told me if he was going to accept or what, he even got an offer from his current job so he wouldnt leaveWhile that happened there where a couple of times that I cried in front of him because I was sad, thinking that he was going to say yes to that job, he always told me that if we were going to be apart for a long time, we would get married so I can move there with him and he always had me in mind but I dont know what I felt so sad aboutWell, honestly I want to marry him but I want him to ask me to marry him because he wants to and he is ready for it, not because we are some miles apart, I dont know if that makes senseAnyway he said no to the job in the other city, but he got mad at me, well not mad, he said that he didnt like my reaction at all, because he thought I was selfish and I didnt care about what he was feeling, but I swear that I asked him about that and he never told me, he was like I dont know, etc, etcIt's been a week since that and I feel some distance between us, like he still resents me and I dont know what to, if I give him some space or talk with him about itThe last time that I got sad about the new job, I told him that I felt that everything was falling apart, between me and God, because this year started great, with my job, my family and with him and I finally thought that everything was falling into the right place and then with that, the job offer, it was like God saying... haha the joke's on you!! and i told him I'm not sure if it's alright for me to tell you this because it's really selfish but maybe you could understand me a little bit more...Please help me!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your advice, actually he didn't take that job, so we still live in the same city and our relationship is great as usual.We've talked about moving in together, he asked me to move in together, actually that was our plan when we started thinking about buying a house, but then I talked to him about that and told him that we had to get married first, because of my parents, they would never approved if I move in with him, it's hard because my dad has a heart problem so I don't want to be the cause of making him feel sick, or something worse.So I think I'll have to wait a little bit more to take that step
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013): to be honest ldr, only works for a while i know several couples who have been together for years but all have failed after 8months-4 years,as you both spend less and less time together it fades, and one of you happen to choose that he or you like another person. i know how he is feeling, as i would be angry and upset if my misses said that.
have you asked if he wants to move with you. tell him you feelings if i was honest i would, that you actually want to marry him, and that he is the one you want. but one of you will have to move or stay for it to work otherwise it will fail.
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