A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:please help me someone i am pushing my girlfriend away, because i am paranoid and insecure. i have been with my current partner for about 6 months now and she is the best thing to ever happen to me. my last 2 relationships were pretty volatile with both my ex partners cheating on me. i would like to think i am or was a pretty easy going guy, i like to look after my partners and treat them well, but even so my last 2 relationships ended with my exes playing away causing me to have a low opinion of myself ( i mean if you give a woman everything you can and they still stray away i must be doing somthing wrong or just not be good enough in the physical side of things)anyway my current g/f is everything i could ever ask for she is caring, understanding, intelligent, funny and beautiful. we spend most of our freetime together and i can tell she loves me by the way she kisses, looks at and the things she says to me, she has 2 jobs and doesnt get alot of freetime i give her all the space she asks for or needs and we both have our own friends. the problem is im so worried that A- she is too good for me ( even though she tells me on a dailly basis im the best thing to ever happen to her) she will find someone better and B i am not good enough sexually ( she will stray like my exes).we do talk about everything and she is constantly reassuring me, which i know is a bad thing for her to have to do. im just scared of getting hurt again. but i cant stop these stupid thoughts and i know eventually im going to mess this all up.
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male
reader, Asheeton  +, writes (27 November 2009):
 Dude... you're not alone in this. that was me about 3 months or so ago, I was freaking out and going to everybody but my girl for help, I was a train wreck. I thought she was gunna leave me for sure and when I did decide to talk to her she kept reassuring me that im the one for her. But I had the same feelings you do, that its a bad thing for her to have to do. So that got me nowhere. But what I found out that Did work was to look at all of the good things you have with your girl, look at how beautiful she is, listen to the soft sound of her voice and just think of how perfect she is for you and how happy you are when your around her. I've been cheated on so I know exactly how you feel. Nobody can help you with this except for you bro... If you keep telling yourself your going to mess up then you've already messed up. Quit looking at the bad things that are going on and focus on the good things. Give it a try and keep me updated if its aight with you on how things go with you and your girl.
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