A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I've posted before, my relationship with my boyfriend had gone sour, mostly on our miscommunication, we still love on another as we recently discovered, but many things have happened. nothing bad, just things falling apart. i've seen him once a month for the last 3 months. and yesterday, he was at a concert, and he was drunk i guess, and he calls me during the chorus, lets me hear the song and then hangs up. it goes like this:"My fingertips are holding ontoThe cracks in our foundationAnd I know that I should let go, but I can'tAnd every time we fight, I know it's not rightEvery time that you're upset and I smileI know I should forget, but I can't"and then he shows up at my door after the concert. and was telling about how this is his first night as a single guy, and how his friends have been trying to set him up with hot girls, and how all these girls wanted him, and he ran away. i asked him if he thought he was single and he said "well im here"... i thought. wow. maybe this is it! where we can rebuild. he was very tired and we went to bed. we havent slept next to one another in more than 2 months maybe. i asked him, "why did you come here" and he said, "to prove a point... it's selfish... it's for me.. im sorry...its not about you"... i was very confused. he held me. but i was confused... throughout the night...we ended up being intimate, and ended up spending the next day together. and being inimate again, and it was like old times. we've made plans again. but i dont understand what his selfish reason is?
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female
reader, starfairy +, writes (10 May 2008):
I don't really think it sounds good either...It sounds like he has been detatching himself from you slowly, while you have been holding onto the hope that you might sort it out.
It does sound like he didn't want to be alone that night he came round, which he's right, IS very selfish and not fair on you at all!
To avoid yourself getting totally emotionally screwed over, you should have a talk with this guy - find out exactly where you stand, you at least deserve that!
If he's moving on and thinking of himself as single, you need to hear it from him so you can get closure and move on...
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