A
female
age
36-40,
*alyov
writes:I was wondering what sort of things are normal for first dates?Like what you should say and do...I only really had 1 first date before and we went to the movies. He hand my hand the whole time because at first he tried messing with my leg and I didnt like that too much since it was all new to me... He was pretty handsy...so to stop trying things like that he held my hand the whole time.And afterward he wanted a kiss but I wouldn't; I didn't think it was right to do so yet. Well after that we dated for about a month and we broke up because come to find out he only wanted 1 thing which I wouldnt give.But now its been 8 months and Its time to move on...I really like this guy fro school and he likes me too of course lol, but he asked me on a date and I wanted to know...since my first one didnt go all too well with mt ex...how do I handle such?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): I think its normal for a healthy straight guy to see how far he can go as early as possible. But trying for it doesnt mean he is expecting to get it. And a decent bloke will handle it if you tell him "no". But dont blame him for trying as thats the way we are.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (18 October 2009):
 Well, since typically you know don't know the person that well yet (at least not in the way of a potential future partner) first dates are about finding out about the other person and showing yourself in the best light possible.
Girls dress up, guys put on the socks that bent the most, that kinda thing.
Then the person who did the invite takes the person to something that he/she thinks the other might enjoy (so guys, a tractor pull is NOT a good first date unless she is a really great find) and probe the water. What is he/she like. What are their intrests, their dislikes. How should you play the game?
And as for the first kiss. That is one of the hardest things. If a guy just delivers the girl to the front door with no touching at all, that is bad, but do to much and that is bad as well. Basically, a guy should make it clear he desires more but not force the girl to go further then she is willing.
Well you are a girl, if he hadn't pushed his luck at all, that wouldn't have been any good either would it?
It is a difficult thing, a first date.
Go on this first date but see it as what it is, a way to probe what kind of person you are dealing with. You know what you want and what you want is a guy who doesn't expect to get laid on the first date. So, keep that in mind and see what this guy is really like.
Keep the first date simple and don't be afraid to let it be known very clear where you stand. Dates can be cut short. Therefor make sure you are never stuck in a position were you are dependant on your date (cellphone and money for a taxi) so that if he gets to pushy you can call it off.
Oh and your first date did go well. You found out that he only wanted sex and stopped the dating process before it got further then you wanted it to go. That is a good result.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): this is a tricky one to answer as there isnt a set ritual for first dates. (perhaps there should be, might save alot of trouble)
Lets say im taking you out.
Ok id take you for either lunch or dinner and follow with a movie. If you were up for it (id ask, not assume) we would also go for a drink. Id probably like to hold hands but thats all I would do, we would also spend almost all the night talking as id be trying to get to know you better.
Id then take you home and (if we had a good time and connected) kiss you goodnight and ask to see you again sometime, exchange numbers if we havent already and take my leave.
thats pretty much how it works.
I think you are right to have dumped him as he doent sould like he wants to be with you. Hopefully then next guy will be better
have a great time
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