A
female
age
30-35,
*eo3
writes:okay. still on the same stupid boy. so quick background info. im 18 hes 21 we moved in together about a month ago. i didnt think i was ready and wanted to get my life together first so i broke up with him and moved back with my family. i realized i loved him and he said he still loves me so we got back together and are trying to pull off a long distance relationship. our plan is to move in together again in a year when we both are more financially stable.ok so when we first broke up i didnt answer his calls because i was afraid hed talk me out of the decision i needed to make. so because of that he turned to his ex who had also been his best friend for a long time. however the whole time we were dating he acted like he wanted nothing to do with her. well when we first got back together i wanted to check up on why he was all the sudden talking to this girl again. i checked his facebook (dnt judge hed given me the pswrd a while ago) anyway i found a msg from a few days after we'd broken up saying how he still loved her and always had and always wanted to make things work. i was really upset but then i also saw that the night me and him got back together he sent her a message telling her what was going on and that he just wanted to be friends with her. i didnt know what to think and i didnt want to tell him that i snooped so i tried to hold it in. but lately they have been hanging out all the freaking time! granted its in big groups but theyre always together. i was really not happy about it so eventually i confronted him on everything including the msg he sent her.he told me that what he said was just out of confusion and to get back at me because he was really hurt. he said that him and her had been close even when they were not dating. he said when i didnt answer his calls he turned to her afraid that his guy friends wouldnt understand. he said that the reason why he was hanging out with her so much is because shes been going through a rough time and he wants to be a good friend to her. he calls me every day telling me how much he loves me and wants to marry me one day. i told him that i understand why he wants to be her friend, and i do, but still its his ex. and i do trust him enough to believe that he means what he says right now, however he also told me that she still wants him back and has even asked him to kiss her! he said that he told her no because he loved me, he said he wouldnt be suprised if she tried to make a move but that he wouldnt do anything back because he only wants me.so right now i am pretending like im cool with it, but in reality i would love to smack that bitches head against the curve...ahem sorry. i am not usually the jealous type (in fact i dont think ive EVER been jealous over a guy before) but im just really afraid that with a year of me being gone, and with all the time they are spending together that eventually shes going to steal him from me. and i mean he tells me when hes with her and doesnt hide things from me (i hope) but im just worriedso my question is, how likely is it that they will get togehter? does he really love me? do i have a right to be so worried or am i just being blindly jealous and paranoid because i cant spend that time with him?ok i know thats more then one question, but this is killing me so i need all the advice i can get!!! o and btw he's already given me an engagement ring if that says anything?
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female
reader, Sophiee92  +, writes (18 October 2009):
To me it sounds as if your man is genuine unless, of course, you feel that something is up. Not every man is going to get with every female friend he has but the fact that she is his ex is a bit strange because i know myself that it is extremely difficult to do.
I think he's so open about it because he doesn't want to make you suspicious, he's trying to show you there's nothing to be worried about.Also I think the engagement ring symbolises his love for you so I don't think he's going anywhere :) He obviously wants you more than this other girl because he's gone for the LDR and is going to wait for you.
But if you are ever in doubt just look at his behaviour, if he ever turns weird or suspicious I'd be asking some serious questions
Hope this helps!
Good luck :)
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