A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'm 23, and for as long as I can remember I have never had any romantic feelings for women, but ever since I have got closer and closer to a girl I work with, it's getting more and more harder to pretend those feelings aren't there.She is 27, and she started working with us late last year. She is openly gay, and she had always been very flirty with me. I played along as it's in my nature and it has got more and more intense over the past month or so. She has asked me if I had ever been with a girl, and if I hadn't then I couldn't say if I liked it or not. I do admit that we were both drunk at the time but shortly after she said that we shared a kiss. I loved every moment of it and I know if we had been at either of our homes we would have slept together. The next day it was a little embarrassing but we laughed it off and went back to our playful flirting. Ever since that night nothing has been mentioned about it, but my feelings for her are getting more and more clear. I love spending time with her, and she is beautiful. She makes me laugh and I can trust her with anything. It may have only been 6 or so months since we met but we clicked and its like I have known her forever.My problem is, I have no interest in other girls, just her, so how can I be gay? Or bisexual?I still like guys, but she is always there in my head. I'm not even sure she is serious about us, or if it is just banter. I don't want to lose our friendship but I'm not even sure I can keep being friends with her when I want more or at least I think I do. I feel confused about everything. What should or could I do without ruining our friendship or whether I should come clean about my feelings.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2014): I'm a lesbian and personally, I wouldn't be interested in whether an apparently straight girl has ever been with another woman UNLESS I was interested in her.you said you'd have slept together if you were at home, and you've already kissed her so it's not going to ruin a friendship. I know some lesbians that make a sport out of "turning straight girls" just to prove they can. If you want to see if she's like that, ask her how many girls she's been with. I know a 19 year old like that who told me she'd been with 70 girls, mostly "straight". If she just just wants to pull a straight girl she'll tell you some bullshit number like that. Take her age into account though, and I would roughly guess that anything over 30 would indicate she's just looking to pull you because you said you're straight. The fewer girls she's been with the more likely I'd reckon she is to be open to something more "meaningful" if thats what you want.However, you said you're friends and you work together, I doubt she'd be like that with you, and I think that if thats all she wanted then she'd have come on much stronger and sooner or perhaps taken you back to hers when you kissed.ask her out for a drink after work, just the two of you and talk about the kiss, kiss her again, more soberly, and just admit that you feel kind of confused but open to exploring that confusion, if you don't want to be just a one night stand then tell her, if thats what she wants she will probably respect that and not sleep with you. if you both want more just go with the flow.
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