A
female
age
30-35,
*ca9130
writes:a guy declared his love to me about two weeks ago, but i told him i couldn´t just go with him because i was dating this other guy who's been longer with me.Though we might break up.I told guy#1 that i wouldn't break up with my guy because of him, but we still talked a lot and flirted, but nothing else happened. three days later, he told me he began dating another girl as a plan b if i didn't work out with him, a week later (last saturday actually) i told him that he should try dating the other girl and I whould see what would happen with my boy.If it was destiny, it would happen eventually. still, i missed him like hell and cried a lot, which made me realize i really fell for him. i began going to work this week very pretty and ignored him, and on wednesday i told him that i would break up with my guy next week and that i had made a mistake and that i wanted to be with him. nevertheless, he told me that he wanted to give a try to this other girl and that he was blinded before (because he was with me) but that what he had with her was also strong. so, i said to myself: whatever, i still like him, but i won't make a big fuss. i still kept on going pretty to work and i saw how he stared at me. today, i only went for four hours and talked about how my boy and i would have a final night together before i asked him on tuesday what would happen between us. when i went to the other guy to say goodbye, he was sad that i had to go. suddenly, two hours and a half later, i received a message: s^^t, i miss you :(. so ignoring him and acting as nothing had happened worked! I didn't know what to answer, so I only put (two hours later after he sent that message) oh honey...:(. he hasn't answered me yet, but I bet he's waiting to take a decision when he sees for sure that I've broken up with my guy, though i don't know what will happen because I still need to know if he's in once more to solve our relationship...anyways, my question is...what should my next move with this other guy be? just being chill? what if i do break up with my guy? do i continue being nonchalant and ignoring him?
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reader, cca9130 +, writes (10 December 2012):
cca9130 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks!! it's a great answer and I followed your advice. i'm going to focus on my boyfriend first :)
A
female
reader, Ilha  +, writes (10 December 2012):
You have put yourself in a very complicated situation. I am a little confused, so bear with me if I got some of the facts wrong. First, do not go from one relationship to the next without thinking it through. Ask yourself what is lacking in your current relationship? Have you talked about it with your current bf? It is always exciting to know another guy is interested in you. All the fuzzy feeling that you had before with your current bf may now be felt with this new guy. Don't be fooled as with all relationship this initial feeling will phase out too.
If you really have to end your relationship with your current boyfriend, then you need to take a break from immediately entering into a new relationship. This is to enable you to focus on yourself so that you can think clearly what you really want in your next relationship. If the 2nd guy really likes you, he will give you that space. If not, there is someone better for you out there. You are still young my dear, so do not rush into things and make a hasty decision.
I hope I have somewhat helped you out. Take care and good luck.
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