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What should I do with what she told me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 October 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 October 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My girlfriend just told me last night that her brother let his best friend do nasty things to her when she was only eight years old. She also told me that her brother made her give him and his friend oral sex when she was eight. When she told me this I broke down and started crying. What should I do about this or what should she do about this!?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I also forgot to say that her brother is like a favorite child so nobody believes her, not even her mom or dad and when she tried to tell them her brother said he didnt remember so they thought she was lying.

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A female reader, teen000 United States +, writes (5 October 2008):

teen000 agony auntHey there...I was abused by a friend of a family when i was 7 nd 8 and later by the same man when i was 13 nd 14 ( last year)...

I has never in my life told anyone in till i recently told my best friend ( which is a guy)

First of all it was realy brave of her to tell you, she must of felt embarassed but also relieved, like the secret she has been holding with her for so long everywere was suddently not so heavy....sadly ive noticed that most girls these days have all been abused...

She probably feels like its her fault because she didnt stop him, so remind her that its not, that she was too little to do anything...Never ever to blame herself, that these guys r messed up ( that shes a inocent girl who was with the wrong people, at the wrong time ) and that she deserves much better ...

Tell her thay you will always be there for her, that she can count on you ( because a lot of people who have been abused have trust issues..)

Tell her that with time the pain she feels will hurt less..Sadly There will always be a scare there to remind her it was all once there but it will get better with time

Ofcause she needs professional help too but some people feel to weak and dont go throught that but u have try to talk her into it, it would be verry good and helpfull for her...She realy needs it

Just be there for her...she will apreciate it more then u could imagine...take care

Tell me if anything else comes up, good luck xoxo

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008):

Hi,

I suggest that she gets involved with a professional counsellor as underlying issues, emotional and mental issues can come from this unhealthy abuse.

Also she needs to put a stop to this abuse, if it is still continuing, and perhaps if she feels comfortable in talking with a member of her family.

I am sorry, and yes this is sad that these things happen within families, and the most important thing is to for her to be safe NOW, and know that the abuse has definitley stopped, otherwise this will also need to be addressed.

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