A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a girl a month ago and we started a great friendship, probably the closest and most sincere friendship I've ever had. We're both very much alike. We have great conversations and we always find new ways to make each other smile.But as you can probably guess, I'm starting to develop a strong crush on her... At first, I thought close friends were *supposed* to make each other feel good, but this feels like more than friendship.We're similar in that it tends to take a long time for us to develop feelings for someone, and we're very selective about relationships, but this is an exception for me. Obviously I haven't shown my true feelings and I don't plan to do so anytime soon, but... we've been getting a little more affectionate than usual lately. Today she messaged me because she was worried about me for no reason. 3 I couldn't help myself and told her she always makes my day. But it still could all be interpreted as friendly.I have three reasons NOT to act on my feelings:- I know how the scientific aspect of love works... the honeymoon phase sometimes plays tricks on your mind. Ideally I would wait until I got to know her better as a friend.- Up to a few DAYS ago, she was still going on about how she misses her ex who broke up with her last year.- If it goes wrong, I'll lose the best friendship I've ever had.What should I do? Wait? Make a move? Run away?
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best friend, broke up, crush, her ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMaybe I *AM* in the friend zone already...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the encouragement! I do want a relationship with her and I'm willing to do my best to make it work.
However, I think I should wait for now, because she mentioned her ex again today and it's become clear that she still thinks of him.
Interestingly enough, she called him "the one I loved", in past tense, which she had never done before... but I know I shouldn't try to read that much into it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2011): Following "the scientific aspect of how love works" will put you in the Friend Zone. Women get into sex and relationships with men who just make a move on them, not try to be their platonic friend for a long time first. Tell her how you feel before too much time goes by.
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A
female
reader, mimisoph3  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 sounds like you dont have to try as hard, depends always question "Am i really ready for a relationship" "Could i make this last" before going up to her,because the last thing you want is get HER to fall in love, and you not being into her as much as you thought you'd be,but you also DONT want to miss a chance. It sounds like you guys get along great, and honestly i definitely see chemistry, just losenn up and listen to the heart, and make a move, your brain is trying to get you to run because its scared of the rejection, which you have nothing to worry about GOOD LUCK
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