A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Everyone I know thinks im this popular, confident and intelligent person. The truth is the things I think about myself I wouldn't even say to my worst enemy. I worry all the time that people will realise that I am stupid, dont know how to do my job etc. I hate how I look and i feel like although i have lots of friends i am alone. I want to be able to stop hating myself but i cant. I never felt like I would be alive long and am frustrated to still be here. iv always felt like this and have been pretty much waiting to die my whole life. Id never kill myself im hoping for a natural death but im just wondering what I should do to fill in the time. I work, study, exercise, socialise but i feel like a part of me is dead and im tired of living. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): Get a therapist and maybe a good antidepressant. I know the feeling that you are talking about. It ranges from black hole-to waiting to die-to just blah my life is going to always be the same as it has been.
Try to avoid Prozac though. It has steroids in it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): My dear, you are clearly suffering from Depression. I have been through it myself, so I can completely understand how you feel.I went through Depression 2 years ago and I'm only just starting to recover now. I was plagued all day with thoughts of wanting to end my life, but I knew that I never would.. but the thoughts were still there.I had always used say "I feel depressed", when I was actually just sad. I realised that when I actually WENT through REAL Depression. It makes you feel like you want to claw your brain out! I had a very traumatic experience, so it was almost overnight that I plunged straight into the depths of the black hole.The good thing is that depression is completely treatable.. and drugs aren't the ONLY answer.. but if you are feeling so terrible that you really struggle to get out of bed in the morning, then you may need to try some medication for a short period of time while you get your life back on track.I was unable to find a medication that was suitable for me, so I chose therapy - but the 2 combined are the best way to conquer severe depression. These feelings you are having, you need to let these out. Depression makes you feel like you're trapped in your head with your thoughts all day long, like it's a prison in there. You need to talk about how you're feeling to a counsellor or psychologist. They'll reassure you that you're completely normal and among millions of others in the world who fight this same thing everyday.If you're anything like me, you'll feel like life is just not worth living.. that that deep feeling of sadness you carry around with you everyday pushes you down like a giant heavy weight.. preventing you from getting through what you need to, and stripping the enjoyment out of absolutely EVERYTHING.Depression can make you feel entirely empty inside, that there's a hole you're incapable of filling. It was IMPOSSIBLE for me to even consider I had a future.. because the thought of living for the rest of my life scared the sh*t out of me. I became paranoid and frequently worried I was going crazy and that there was something terribly wrong with me...... it's all part of Depression.The good news is, that Depression certainly DOESN'T last forever, even though it feels like it will. And while you're going through Depression, you'll have good days and bad days.. but you just need to remember, that your bad days where you feel like wanting to die.... that's only the Depression.. that's not your real thoughts.What helped me was seperating my Depressive thoughts which were clouding my real ones. When it's rainy and cloudy outside in the day, you know that above the clouds the sun is still shining... but we never think of that. Think of Depression as a temporary black cloud over your brain that will eventually pass. When I was having a bad day, I would just tell myself, "This is only a SYMPTOM of Depression, this is not my real thoughts." Tune out to your thinking, and you'll notice it will pass quicker! Try it!Depression is a temporary chemical imbalance in the brain and you MAY of felt like this your entire life, or it may just feel like that in the mindset you're in right now. But it IS treatable in so many ways, but it does take some time.. there is no quick fix. I promise you that when you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel, you'll be able to look back on this experience and appreciate the strength you had. Speaking as someone who has conquered Depression, I definitely feel stronger than I ever have.. that I could deal with anything.. because it was by far the hardest thing I've ever been through.I hope my advice and suggestions help. Please keep in touch.PS - The SUN and FRESH AIR does wonders. Make lots of ME time for yourself, with your favourite music and food.. to just sit out in the sun and be around nature. You won't believe the benefits.Take care
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (29 September 2008):
 This is no way for someone live. You need to find a therapist you can work with. Fill in your time with getting yourself feeling better. Make the appointment today.
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