A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my partner for almost 3 years now and were engaged but recently i started losing the spark for him , and ive also stared talking to this other guy i have devoloped feelings for but i dont want to hurt my other half but this other guy really likes me he says . what should i do? im so confused . i really want to make it work between me n my partner .
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (7 July 2010):
 You are young and are not ready to settle down. Marriage is a serious commitment and should not be taken lightly, being so young I can understand why you are starting to wonder. Give your self time and stop thinking on marriage. Live life now and as you grow older and feel that you have enjoyed being single than you might want to consider getting married ,but right now I think you are to young.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 July 2010):
 Are you 16 or 17? I'd say you may not be ready to be married or fully committed to one guy just yet. If you're feeling interested in another guy, this may be your subconscious telling you that you aren't fully happy in the situation. Also, getting freshly engaged may have reminded you that this relationship will be for the rest of your life, and that's a pretty scary thing.
I'd say you might need to take a break from both guys while to get to know yourself a bit better. There's no rush to get married at your age, you know. You don't have to commit if you're not ready.
By the way, lots of guys may tell you they have strong feelings for you, it doesn't mean that you have to reciprocate, you know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): I've been in this sort of situation and depending on how bad things are, I've found there's 2 ways of approaching it.
1.) this other person I really suspect is just a crush. They can be annoying and irritating and mind consuming but it's not love and not worth losing your relationship over. If you really can't cope just reminding yourself of this, then distance yourself as much as possible and go for an outing with your partner to remind yourselves all the reasons your together.
2.) if things really are so bad that that won't work, try a relationship "break". Don't see each other in a romantic way for a while. You'll either adjust quickly, a sign that it's not working or you'll find the urge to kiss them and hold their hand to be so strong that you realize you do definitely want to be with them in which case refer to my first point.
When I tried 2) a few years back, I stupidly had a brief fling with the other person and at the end of it, I was VERY lucky he took me back. But then we were inseperable anyway so it was a sure sign we work.
But yeah, it was the worst thing I ever did so try to avoid that.
best of luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): If you have posted your real age, then you are only young, but you are already calling him your 'other half' and 'partner' This seems quite serious for such a young age, and would rather seem to fit a couple of a much older relationship. You do not say if this other guy is older, in a relationship as well, or if children are involved.If there are then you have to be very sure that he 'likes you' enough to give all that up for you.If you are young and just girlfriend and boyfriend then you have a lot of years ahead of you yet, and if this other guy is single and young as well, and you are serious about each other, then you will have to hurt the other one to leave him, but he is young he will get over it in time.Make sure the new guy is available to you wholeheartedly first and free to come to you definitely.It could be that this is just a crush because you are in a stale relationship. All new attractions feel absolutely great when they are blinkered witth that fuzzy feeling in your tummy, but after a while the new relationship will feel the same as the present one anyway.I hope you come to a decision on this which will not hurt too many people, but leaving someone for someone else always hurts somebody doesn't it?Good luck in your decision.
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