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What should I do if I'm talking to a boy but he won't really tell me his feelings because he thinks he will get hurt if he falls in love again?

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Question - (31 May 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

What should I do if I'm talking to a boy but he won't really tell me his feelings because he thinks he will get hurt if he falls in love again?

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2007):

love-him agony aunthia chick, giv the guy a bit ov space, if yoo n him r ment to be then i would say givin him time n space (time to get to know yoo will make him betta and maybe then yoo to could be a couple? hope i helped chick x x x mail me if u wana talk x x x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007):

I agree with both answers below. He's been hurt so he's not in 'trust-mode' right now. And that's okay..he just needs time and patience to get there. Build a good, close friendship with him firstly and realize, trust does take time to build. If he's been hurt, he needs to come to the point where he will see that you are a consistant, dependable person whose actions always match up with your words. Always, always be honest. Suspicions grow when one of the two people..don't follow through on what they say they will do. Hopefully as trust grows, he will start talking about his feelings more to you. If after 6 months time, he still feels resentful and mistrustful of 'giving back' to you, trusting you and making this work, then I 'd communicate respectfully to him, who you are and what you expect from this relationship. If he's not on the same page, you might be better off to let him know, that although you do enjoy this friendship, you are looking for more. He may respond by taking this to the next step or he may not. If he doesn't, then you may have to let go.. Sometimes when people get hurt...it takes ages for them to get over hurt. If this drags out too long..you may have to be prepared to find a less complicated dating partner.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (31 May 2007):

DV1 agony auntThe best thing that you can do for him is give him time and space. If he likes you, let him come to you. I know that it may seem hard to wait, but if you really care about him, it's worth it. I promise. :)

DV1

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A female reader, candy00s United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2007):

candy00s agony auntBe his friend, help build up his trust. Its clear he has been hurt in the past and is scared that it will happen again.

Just talk things through with him. If you like him then tell him that you do and that you dont want to hurt him.

xxxx

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