A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:lets just say my name is Mac. now my problem started on September 8th when i met the one girl i loved. My first love in my life lets call her Mel. after we met we talked for a bit and became closer friends then we started dating on December 10th. how i know these dates cause i am a gentleman.anyways, after about two months she thought i was flirting with other girls (Witch i was not). so we moved she stopped talking to me for a month or two months and that was hard on me, then all of a sudden she unblocks me from msn and we go back to being friends like we were before we even dated. now since we broke up i have dated 2 people one i was a rebound guy and the second i am currently dating and i love her shes my second. lets call her Dee. now all of a sudden mel says to me that she still loves me she misses me she wants me in her arms Etc. and once i told her that i was seeing someone, she said things like i only said it cause i thought you might want to be with me again..... and stuff like that, and i can tell she ment it shes says shes ok with this but i know shes hurting inside, all in all my questions are:a) What should i do? i dont want to be hurting either one of them.b) should i have to choose between who and who? :( if not then how can i make mel ok with this? SORRY for the long question, i have had a bad year worth of relationships and this site really helped through a lot of it. From: Big MacLmao
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Thanks guys and no i did not lie she thought i was flirting with others :( and i have strong very strong feelings for both of them and i decided that i am going to stay with dee and if mel really wants to be with me that much she will wait for me and dee to be through WITCH WILL BE A LOOOONNNGGG TIME :D thanks again
Any other advice would be good to
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Mel deserves whatever suffering she has. She says she really wants you back, but girls like that just want to make sure they have control over their guys. She's just upset because you found someone else, and knows she doesn't control you anymore. I say, screw her, let her suffer for being like that and truly enjoy a relationship with a girl who doesn't own you. Don't allow sexual attraction to control your actions either because in the end, with girls like Mel you won't get much anyways.
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (4 July 2008):
 In this kind of situation, it's inevitable that someone is going to have their feelings hurt - it's not your fault, it's just how these things turn out. All you can do is try and make it as painless as possible.
You need to figure out where your feelings lie. You say you're currently in love with this Dee lass, so it seems to me like you've moved on from Mel. Obviously you'll still care about her, but she'll have to realize that you don't feel the same way anymore (I'm assuming here that you don't, I could be wrong). Let her know you still want to be friends, but you're with Dee now and you're happy with her(right?). She may well be hurt and not talk to you for a while, but that's not your fault.
Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): You know, I really think one of you is lying, either Mel or you, Mac.
The reason why I think you might be lying is because she just left you because she thought you were talking with someone else and reasons for that to dump you are incredibly immature and stupid. Eiter you must have done something bad to her that made her dump you or you actually telling the truth (which for some reason, I believe).
Now, if she really did dump you, she dump you for reasons I already stated. The reason why I say she's lying is in that she's lying about the feelings that she has for you, her real feelings. If she dumped you only because she thought you were talking to another girl, then she's just a silly litte immature person who is a controling freak. Yes, she wants to control you and apparently she's doing it good since you have been doubting your relationship with your current girl.
So the conclusion in here is really easy, if you're telling the truth, then don't pay attention to your ex. Don't listen to her and what she supposedly confeses. And if she really feels that way, she's a fool for losing you for a simple thing and will probably never appreciate you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Err thats not exactly a long question. You should see the stuff I come up with. It rambles on a bit...
Ironically the dates that you have are the same important dates in my life too. *SNAP MOMENT!!* - Give or take 2-3days...
You obviously care about both of them. I'm going to answer these questions like an exam paper.
a. You should do whats right for you. You were messed around with a bit by Mel. But Dee has been fantastic to you and you love her. It comes out a bit biast.
b. You don't have to choose. Just because someone else likes you doesn't mean you drop everything and skip across the room after her. You are with someone else. If you don't like Dee then thats fair enough - giving the girl a chance - but Mel has been messing you around.
She's possibly desperate...
You have to do what you want to do but which ever one you 'drop', explain to them what has happened and stuff. What went through your mind etc...
Just let your feelings out - no point letting mine out they would be too on the surface and biast.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Ok Big Mac...Here is a question for you..Which lady do you love and want to be with the most? That is all that really matters. Just look into your heart and deceide. And if you are still wishy washy, then break it off with both of them. It's not fair to divide your heart. The lady's deserve all or none. So do you Love Bug. All My prayers.
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