A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a dilemma. One of my cousins lives about 45 minutes away from my home town. We see each other every now and then at family reunions, (maybe 2 or 3 times a year), and have always gotten along great. About a week ago, she emailed me saying it would be fun if I tagged along with her and her friends. They were coming to the town I live in, since it's a little bigger and has more things to do. Well, her friends ended up hooking up with these two guys and she didn't have a place to crash, so she stayed at my place. We were talking, laughing, and having a couple of drinks watching t.v. She was said saying why she was lonely and why her friends were able to hook up with guys and she wasn't. (just broke up with her longterm boyfriend). In actuality, she was out of those other guys league. She's always been attractive to me, but she's my cousin so I never dwelled on the fact.I explained to her that those guys probably didn't think they had a shot. And more than likely, since they knew I was her cousin they probably thought I was there to "protect" her. Which I wasn't.I told her to be confident, that she was smart, pretty, funny, and I was telling her this as her cousin; but she started kissing me. And I didn't stop her. We didn't have sex, but we rounded second base before my room-mate showed up and him opening the door stopped us. We both kind of apologized, and said it must have been the buzz; but know I can't stop thinking about her. I don't want to take advantage of her, and told her that, but she said she just wants to feel that physical attention, and get some self confidence back. She explained she doesn't want anything out of it; no relationship definitely, (too weird), but that if I was willing, she could use a boost of self esteem.What should I do? Her mother and my father are second cousins. So that makes us third cousins? Where is it ok to draw the line? Thanks!She's 28 by the way, and I'm 26.
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broke up, confidence, cousin, kissing, second base, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 May 2011):
 third cousins is just fine.... far enough apart that there's not a concern.
have fun!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011): Actually if your parents are second cousins that would make you her fourth cousin. Her mother is your father's second cousin, so her mother is your third and she is your fourth. It's very distant and most people would see it as acceptable.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (16 May 2011):
 Third cousins are very distantly related. First cousins share a grandparent; second cousins a great-grandparent; third cousins a great-great grandparent. Genetically it's not an issue. The question is how your respective families would feel about it -- since you've been acquainted with her from family reunions, your families are unusually close (personally I'd have to do quite a bit of research to identify one of my third cousins). Talk to your father to get a read on how the family is likely to react. And keep in mind that if the relationship goes sideways, you'll still run in to her at family reunions, which might make things awkward.
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