A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my fight friend have been friends for almost 2 years, 10 months ago he told me he wanted to date. When he first told me he liked me I was really nervous and not ready. I was young, immature, I had a lot of things going on in my life such as university, and a family health scare. I didn't handle our situation well and we got in a lot of arguments. He was always sweet to me and by my side and understood that I wasn't ready. We had one argument where he told me he only wanted to be friends at that point and I understood but he was still sweet and flirting but he didn't force me into anything and that's when I started developing feelings. This was 4 months ago and recently I told him how I felt, I've been trying to for 4 months but was super nervous. He told me that he always liked me but "fell out of love" with me like a month ago and now it's too late, he said that he moved on and wants to be casual friends. He said he wishes we dated but knows that the timing wasn't right for us, he now wants to be casual friends and wants to hang out and talk but occasionally, I honestly don't how I can handle that because I am so in love with him. What should I do? He said he never wants to be with me?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 March 2017):
 I think all you can do in this situation is accept that he does not want to be with you and move on. Yes it may be difficult but you don't really have a choice, life can be hard.
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (28 February 2017):
Move on, he doesn't want to be with you. He tried for a long time but the ship sailed. Take his word for it: he doesnt wan't to be with you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 February 2017):
 let me recap
10 months ago he wanted to date, but you didn't
You didn't act well after that and despite the two of you arguing he stuck by you
4 months ago you had another argument and he told you he only wanted to be your friend, as a result you changed your mind about him and started "developing feelings"
Recently you told him about the feelings and he told you he lost his about a month ago.
He says he will never get them back .... and doesn't want to be friends on the same level as previously ...
This horse has bolted, it actually bolted 10 months ago, and all that happened since then was just the pair of you trying to close the stable door.
Accept him at his word. You two have fiddle faddled with each other so much the waters have become very muddied.
Withdraw and recuperate. Do not initiate contact with him. If he calls or messages or texts or whatever do not respond. Cease all contact.
Think about your future, make plans and set goals that don't require other people to be part of them to come to fruition, consider travel, develop a plan to save the money. Build a life with purpose and vision. Avoid muddy waters. Be a good person and be kind to others.
If you happen to bump into the young man at some random event be polite as you would to any casual acquaintance but don't spend too long trying to grasp the past.
Its over and done with, and its time to focus instead on the future.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (27 February 2017):
 It sounds to me like he is stringing you along just in case his current romantic interest doesn't work out. You need to get some distance from him to get over this. I recommend a complete breakup with a no Contact Rule for at least 3 months.
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