A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I split from my ex boyfriend 4 years ago, after I had a miscarriage. Neither of us wanted to split up but after the miscarriage he ended it with me i moved on met another man and had a baby girl. Yet my ex still hangs around and stares at me and tries to get my attention all the time. If he is driving past me he will stop and stare at me. He's not bothered where he stops either.What should I do why is he still hanging round 4 years later thank you
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 May 2017):
 I agree that you should go to the police. His behavior is unnerving. It has been four years this needs to end. You have moved on and for you and your child's safety get the law involved.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2017): The man is apparently stalking you. You should contact the local police and seek their advice. If he hasn't shown-up at your home or actually confronted you; I'm not sure there is much that can be done about someone staring and driving on a public street. You might take a phone video to keep a record; and it may come-in handy. You should also mention this to your partner; so he can be vigilant and aware of this behavior for everyone's protection.
Show no fear, and just phone video. If you see a cop in the area, flag him or her down. Give them his license plate and file a complaint. The more you have on record to support your concerns, the easier it is to prove there is something wrong.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (9 May 2017):
 He sounds dangerous.
Document. Write it down, record it whatever is legal
File a report. Again I'm not sure on your laws but a law officer could direct you to the right help.
Ask for a restraining order.
This is a bit too scary not to give this kind of strong advice.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 May 2017):
 I think it comes down to quite a few things:
1. does he SCARE you when he stops and stares?
2. Have you told him (to his face) to go kick rocks? (only if you ARE not scared of him)
3. have either or both o you moved on with new partners?
If he doesn't scare you - I'd actually CONFRONT him and tell him to stop stalking you (I think he needs to HEAR that from you) but I would ONLY do this if you aren't scared of him or what he might do.
Are you hoping OP that him stalking you means he still cares deeply? IF so, I'd say LET that hope GO. It's been 4 years and all he does is stare. You can't rebuild a relationship on that.
If you have moved on with a new partner and this ex-bf SCARES you, keep a LOG of his activities and seek an order of protection. It might BE harder as he has done nothing but state at you.
My guess is he doesn't WANT you to forget him. He doesn't want you back but the IDEA of the two of you is something he goes back to when things don't work for him (like a new relationship). It's human nature to go back to the LAST thing that worked, be it a solution to a problem or relationship.
Least of all, YOU need to let that past go.
IGNORE this behavior - it IS out of your control (unless he is freaking you out then DEFINITELY take it to the POLICE) LIVE your life, do things that make you happy, see people you enjoy being around. If he CHOOSES to waste HIS life skulking around the perimeter of YOUR life - that is HIS choice - though I DO think he needs to hear that YOU have moved on and he needs to stop. JUSt do it in a SAFE manner.
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (9 May 2017):
Do you live in the same neighbourhood ? Or near each other . How often is the passing by .. daily .. weekly .. monthly ..
If he feels there still some sadness sourrounding the breakdown of the previous realtionship that maybe the reason he stares .. I would just ignore him if your not looking for any contact . He may just be feeling a load of guilt over the situation and the fact that life coulda totally different for him and you . If he does approach, give him the benefit of the doubt ( you know him ) and let him know in discussion that life is fine . It wasn't fair what happened and you've moved on and have a happy family and just ask how he is . If he continual pesters you and you feel awkward or uncomfortable then go to the police . You know him and we don't and we trying to fill in the gaps . If it didn't ended badly .. then being courteous and lil friendly doesn't do any harm .
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A
female
reader, malvern +, writes (9 May 2017):
 You may need some professional advice on this because I think this kind of behaviour can be termed as 'stalking'. He should not be behaving like this. It may be that you have nothing to worry about but on the other hand you don't want things to turn nasty. I would think you would be able to get some advice from the police on this matter. It may not be a bad idea to log it with the police so that they are aware of the situation. Have a search around the internet for 'stalking' and see what it advises.
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