A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I can't get this girl out of my head. I've known her years and we talk now and then. I have a girlfriend who I really like but I know isn't 'the one'. I think about this other girl constantly and replay our conversations over in my head. I don't know what it is about her. I've tried not speaking to her for a year but still found myself thinking of her constantly. We got back in touch and have been friends ever since. She's got a hold on me like no one has ever had before, I think I love her. I don't know what to do with myself, she's like my little secret obsession. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 September 2014):
 Not very fair to your GF is it?
I mean how would you feel if the roles were reversed and she PINED after another dude that she kept in orbit as a "friend"?
End it with your GF. Set her free so SHE can find a guy who WANTS her and ONLY her. Now string her along because it's convenient for you to have a GF around.
Come on, you're OLD enough to know better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2014): I can understand how you feel. On the one hand you want to do what's right by staying with your girlfriend. On the other hand there are these obsessive thoughts. You just have to figure where your heart really is. If you feel you have a chance at something special with this other woman, you should let go of your current relationship. It is only fair that you be honest to yourself, and therefore leave your current relationship. Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, and not for infatuation, which can hit us at anytime and with any partner. I don't think you want to go about changing partners every time you feel something like this, so if you do decide to make such a decision, make sure it is for the right reason (and for the right person).I personally relate to what you are going through, but my situation is different. I am married and have young children. And the other person I feel connected to is also married. Neither of us has or will speak about what we are feeling (it is unspoken), but that feeling is there. On the other hand, I love my husband and will not destroy many lives as a result of such innocent thoughts that can sometimes get the better of me. Life does that to you. Be wise and be truthful and the it will lead you to the right decision.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2014): For God's sake stop the relationship with your current girlfriend. You're only hurting her. If you are so fixated on the other woman just talk to her and take it from there but start by respecting the other woman first with the truth so she can move on.
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