A
female
age
41-50,
*onna-louise
writes:iam in love with a married turkis man he is great to me and loves me he knows that i dont ave any money and knows that iam a single parent ..and he loves me for who i am hes been the best boyfriend ever ,,he loves me and my daughter to bits ,,iam even going to see him on the 30th july for 3 weeks and i have butterflys in my belly and i have never had that feelin wi another man before ,,thats how i know its true love cos i miss him and think about him al the time,, but i know that i will be the one who gets hurt ..so i dont know what to do
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): I think it's your daughter who has potential to be most hurt here...your daughter and his children by his wife. Even though you feel like you deserve happiness (you do) - this isn;t how to get it - you know that. I don;t think you should get involved any more than you are...only pain will come your way long term.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 We all know that getting involved with a married person is not the right thing to do. We all also know that such a thing happens all the time, and there are many reasons for that. The parties involved are all human beings with failures and virtues. It is correct to encourage the person to act as s/he should, but sometimes I'm left feeling that it's not enough.
Dear poster, I want to take note of your words. This Turkish man knows you have no money and are a single parent. Well, dear, that doesn't mean you're not good. Your value as a person and a woman has nothing to do with the money you got or the children you have, or how you had them, or how you're raising them. He's not doing you a favor for loving you. He finds you interesting, and he became interested.
I have the suspicion that you felt no one loved you until this man came. Would it be fair to compare you to a plan that finally gets water and blossoms? Yet, your reason tells you that this man has commitments, and that might mean he might go away. You may go back to life as usual, as it was before he came. What will you do, then?
I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt the wife. You just let yourself get carried away because you needed love.
Now is the time to define what you will really have with this man. You need to know what you can expect from him. It's better if you know this sooner rather than later. Life always has that frustrating side to it, that happiness never seems to last. We can't just give ourselves away and submerge in love; we always need to think, instead of just feel.
I don't think you can accept things by the halves. If he stays with you, fine. If he does not, don't despair, and know that you can continue to live and find happiness.
Wish you and your child the best.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): If he is married and still with his wife, I would suggest you not to ruin his family. Show that you love him by allowing him to be with his family.
Even if he goes to you, can you trust a guy who leave his wife for another woman? Do you think he will stay forever with you?
I know it hurts. But that's life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): I bet his wife had butterflies in her stomach whenever they just began their relationship too. You say that this man loves you, but I disagree. To me love is more than a feeling. In the first two or three years of a relationship you have intense "feelings"...you talk all the time, you can't get enough and kissing, you just have to be close to one another. But this isn't the true test of love. You find true love when your partner is devoted to you. He would marry you and remain faithful to only you. So, no, I don't think this man loves you. I also don't think that you can trust this man. He is cheating on his wife with you. Why would you think he would treat you any differently? My advice is that you have respect for yourself and his wife by leaving this relationship and focus your energy on finding a single man that you can have a healthy relationship with. One that is not surrounded by lies. I think if you are truly honest with yourself, you will come to the same conclusion. Now just have the strength and courage to do what is right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): I bet his wife had butterflies at one point as well. To me love is more than a feeling. The first two or three years you are crazy in love....you talk constantly, kiss, and want to be close all the time. But these intense "feelings" over time will fade. You then show your spouse or mate that you love them by remaining dedicated and loyal to them. That is what love is to me. Love is more than a feeling. So, no, I don't think that this man loves you. I also don't think that you can trust him, since he is cheating on his wife with you. He is married and therefore cannot be devoted to you. Have respect for yourself by finding a single man to begin a true relationship with. This relationship is surrounded by lies. I think if you are honest with yourself, you would feel the same way.
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