A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi........I am a 19 year-old girl. I am in college and live at a all-girl dorm now. I have a lot of nice friends out there. We are so close to each other, yeah we are like sisters. But I secretly hide something from them, I am a lesbian and no one at my dorm knows about it. I know they all are nice people, unfortunately they are kind of homophobic, love to make a joke about gay, and love to use the term " Oh..., you`re so gay " when someone do something silly or stupid. They are so straight as a pencil plus boy-crazy. Well......I think my life is so drama. I usually pretend to be straight and make a comment such " oh...., he`s damn hot " when we see a good looking guy come over. Yeah, that`s just a fake and I am fed up with this drama. I prefer to lock myself at my room than get together with them, simply because they're usually talking about guys, their boyfriends and other straight people stuff. I`m feeling all alone, and absolutely depressed. It is impossible for me to move out to another dorm, because this is the only dorm at my college. Plus I can`t commute from my house to my college, it`s so long way. Also I work at a local coffee cafe near my dorm, if I commute everyday I would lose my job. I can`t stand to stay here, I am dying to move.... What do I need to do?. Please help, I am so depressed even I can`t concentrate on my studies. I don`t have any idea if they find out who I really am. If I come out to them, I`m certain I would freak them out.
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female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 well hun if u come out then of course some would treat u differently and some would just be the same..and those would be your true friends..you would never know probably some of these girls in the dorms are also hiding the fact they are lesbians..and if u take the courage to come out of it probably it will give them encouragement too..are they gay clubs in your place..y dont u hang out there..being gay doesnt make u inferior at all so dont act like one after telling them truth,enjoy have fun!!if they talk about guys all the time and if ou are not interested then just walk away you dont have to sit there!!and by doin that your not losing your friends hun..dont do things if u dont want to do it..
A
female
reader, missemma18  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 Hello i think you should tell your friends the truth because you can't keep pretending to be something your not and if they find out some other way, they might end up being annoyed that you didn't tell them in the first place.
You said in your question that they are all nice people and if that's true then im sure they will be fine with it and if they arn't then they are oviously not the friends that you thought they were.
If you don't want to tell them all, then you should tell the person you are the most closest to there.
I hope this helped you, if not im sorry im jst not that gd on the advice situation thing
X x X x X
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): I would try to get involved in gay and lesbian groups on campus. that way you would have some friends that want to talk about what you do. then you could hang out with them and hopefully you wouldn't be as depressed. I don't know what you should do about telling your friends. It really depends on how you think they'll react. but if they turn on you because you tell them you're gay, they were never your friends anyway. trust me, the people that matter won't care.
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