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What shall I do with her?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 February 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 March 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Recently I fancied a very female friend of mine. We used to talk a lot and once time I discovered that she was upset due to another guy, who was not asking her out but they both like each other. I went up to her and listen to all those things that happened between her and that guy, which made me cried at night.

She knows that I fancy her but still told me all those things which I didn't want to hear. I did it because of her. Later, I told her how sad I feel and she had promised she would not tell anyone anything that had happened between me and her. Unfortunately, she had told like all her very close friends, which is still acceptable but she told her current boyfriend, which is absolutely painful for me. Additionally, a friend of mine told me that apparently she is happy that I am heartbroken, which is something that disturbed me a lot since she doesn't look like she is those kind of people but obviously I cannot ignore this possibility.

She knows me very well because we used to tell each other a lot of secrets. She knows that I am hiding my feelings when I am in front of her and I had tried to forget her. In this week, a photo of her boyfriend kissing her on the cheek was published on facebook. She knows that I am heartbroken because of this even though I tried my best to hide it. And somehow she ignored me in schools; I did tried to talk to her in school but failed so later we both started to ignored each other which is weird.

She does cared about me a lot and she knows that I am mentally exhausted because of her.

Lastly, her boyfriend knows that I love her, so he always tried to make me feel jealous or upset by like touching her bottom when he walked past her.

I feel really "down" and lost confidence. I know I need to leave her but somehow I succeed. Many different methods had been tried out but none of them worked. Furthermore, I felt betrayed by her since she kind of used me as a stepping stone.

View related questions: confidence, facebook, heartbroken, jealous, kissing

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A female reader, Rain Flower United States +, writes (1 March 2011):

Rain Flower agony auntYou sound sensitive and sweet, trust me i know how hard it is to stop loving someone you're in love with but you deserve way better. With your personality any girl would be lucky to have you.

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A male reader, Capri2 Argentina +, writes (18 February 2011):

Buddy. This girl is not only using you. She is hurting you on purpose, which is unacceptable. Of course she has the right to choose this boyfriend, even if you are in love with her. But she could do a lot for not hurting you the way she does.

If you want to stop suffering you have to move on. It will be hard because you will see her at school. But you will have to deal with it. You will regret every minute you keep contact with her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your advise. I will make decision soon.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (18 February 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntIt sounds to me like she is not a very nice girl at al. She let you down, betrayed your confidence and told you things that she knew would hurt you, its almost like she likes seeing you suffer or maybe she is enjoying the attention of someone else wanting her. She is not worth this pain and effort. You sound like a genuine guy and she is not worth it believe me. Yet you will always try and see the best in her because you love her and I bet she uses this to her advantage.

Sweetie the only thing you can do is to cut all contact from her. Dont text or phone her and avoid her when you see her. Also delete her off social networking sites so that you dont need to see pictures of her and her boyfriend. I know this will be a big step for you but believe me it will be the best one if you are wanting to get over her. Also give yourself time. Goodluck pet.

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