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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship for almost three years now, and im not happy. She is always mean and nasty. When something doesnt go right for her, its my fault. Im getting to the end of my rope. Now, a girl from work has taken an interest in me. She is really beautiful, like an angel. We have spoken, and she knows of my situation and said she wants to make me happy. Im only 24 and think it would be a good idea to move on with this girl. I have done anything but talk to this girl, but I think she could be the final push I need. I am also worried that the woman I live with now once said that if I ever walk out on her, she wont let me have my stuff back and she will sell it all. I dont know what to do. Can anyone help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): Again...just because someone is doing things that make you unhappy...running away isn't the answer.
Now if she is abusive...that is another matter.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): Oh my heck!!
It is apparent that parts of you have moved on.
It is unfortunate that couple's counseling wasn't the first and real solution that was sought out and not entertaining the current crush in your life.
It isn't good to go from one relatoinship to another in a matter of moments...this tells me that you are putting so much into the new relationship to heal you, help you. That's not a good start as what if things go bad or wrong and then who will be pointing the finger at whom here?
I say, you make up your mind. Decide.
If your gf is in fact an abusive person and is emotionally abusive...get her and yourself into individual counseling.
Regardless if you chose to walk out. It still needs to be done and you still have a responsibility to you and her.
Next, ask some close friends and relatives to help you with the move; pick a day and have them come over to pick up your things. I would tell her to go out with some friends and then call her after all your stuff is out.
Sounds sly and underhanded but if you do in fact fear her making good on her threats of keeping your belongins hostage (which is emotional abuse as well as controling) then this, along with the police...will put that to a stop.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): If your partner is mean and nasty and you're already considering dating other people, then I think you should move out regardless. Can you put some of your stuff in storage and stay with a friend until you get your own place? Or maybe until you find a roommate? Whatever you need to do to get out of living with your nasty girlfriend is what I would suggest. That kind of living environment is taking a toll on you emotionally and mentally (and maybe physically by this point!).As for the other girl that you know at work, if you really feel like she would be a great girlfriend, then go for it! (But after you've moved out. You don't need anymore nonsense from your current g/f if you break-up with her when you're still there.) There's no reason why you shouldn't date this new girl - you're old enough to recognize your feelings and if you want to give it a try then do it. As for making her out to be the "perfect partner" as stated by another aunt, isn't that how we percieve everyone when we first start dating them? You won't really know until you date her for a while if she's "the one," but she does make you happy and at this point that's what matters.Good luck! :)
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (13 August 2006):
 First, don't worry so much about your material goods. Your soul is damaged and needs healing NOW. The longer you wait to finish with your current partner the longer your recovery time becomes.
Second, is it possible that you are escaping from your relationship by turning this other girl into the perfect partner? You have no reality to get in the way of the ideal relationship you are having with her in your mind. It is natural to have these thoughts, especially when reality sucks so badly.
If you choose to break up, then make sure take sufficient time to heal and learn to become comfortable in your skin. The past three years have eroded your self-esteem; for the sake of future partners you need to correct the view you have of yourself so that you can choose to be with someone rather than need to be with someone. Otherwise you will end up in the same situation with a different partner.
I hope this helps. Good luck and take care.
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