A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay this isn't a major problem but I just wondered. I have always wondered about my sexuality, and when I was 15 I was pretty sure I was bisexual, but since then its kinda changed as I presumed that was just a stage. I am attracted to men, I have had sex with men and relationships with men so thats one thing i'm certain about. The thing i'm not certain about is whether or not I am attracted to women as well and therefore Bisexual. Lesbian porn arouses me, and whenever I am in the mood I look at pictures of women instead of pictures of men, and almost a hundred percent of the time I get off from the womens reactions instead of the mens. If I see a women walking down the street who has a bit on show I am attracted to that women, but I will never go on to hit on her or anything like that, and I have once had a crush on a women before. I could never picture myself in a relationship with another woman, and even though watching women have sex arouses me, I do not know if I myself could do it as it kinda feels wrong in a way? Also the idea of snogging another women doesn't feel right, but I am still attracted to some women. Also love with another woman feels impossible to me. So after all that what would you say I am? Bisexual? Heterosexual? Or something else?
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male
reader, RevMick +, writes (1 May 2014):
 Hi there,
I don't think you need to pigeon hole yourself into a label, you are only young and starting out. You are going to be attracted to both men and women, there is honestly no hard and fast rules when it comes to orientation.
You can be totally unattracted to 99.8% of the women or men in the world, but there is always going to be that 1% where you look and they seem really sexy or really fit.
There is more to worry about that pinning a label on yourself in this world. Just be young and free for a while and enjoy whatever comes along.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (22 April 2014):
 Don't worry about your label! Your sexuality ground is fertile! You may not fall into the spectrum of one label or the other. Just concentrate on what you know about yourself! You have attraction towards guys and towards the sexual imagery of women, and that doesn't make you bi or gay! It might, though, but you're exploring now! There are heterosexual guys out there who get off on gay porn as well, though they wouldn't dream of doing it.
I read somewhere about a good informal and not perfect test that requires all emotion and no thought, and I'll give it to you here and now:
Whatever you do, when I ask the question, answer with the first thing that comes to mind, because this is the type of test that after your first immediate emotional response, many people nervous of their own sexuality start second-guessing and overanalyzing, so here goes. Read this through, then close your eyes and envision it:
You're on a beach at sunset. The air is perfect, the picture of romance. You have butterflies in your stomach, and the person you're with is making you feel the greatest attraction you've ever felt, and their arms have you trembling in them. You close your eyes, and your lips touch theirs, and you are experiencing the greatest, knee weakening, heart-pounding, everywhere-tingling kiss you've ever experienced.
NOW -- Was this person you just kissed a man or a woman??
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (22 April 2014):
 Personally, I don't think you have to label yourself. Sexuality falls on a spectrum. most people aren't completely straight and most people aren't completely gay. I feel like you do, just on the other side of the spectrum. I can only see myself with women and sleeping with women, but I can find men attractive and I can appreciate them for their attractiveness. As far as dating them is concerned - I've never met a man I could fall in love with or one I've ever connected with on that level. That's not to say it's impossible and that I couldn't. I just haven't met that guy. I am mostly completely gay minus these few instances.
Also, keep in mind that even in a society that accepts homosexuality, it's still a bit frowned upon and ingrained into our culture that we are supposed to be straight and that being gay is still a bit taboo. So is it possible that you've convinced yourself because of societal standards that you can't fall in love with a woman? Or can you truly not?
If the answer to that question is that society plays no role and that's how you truly feel, then it sounds to me like you're predominantly straight and yet wouldn't mind a little fling with women occasionally. That makes you about like every other woman in the world lol. :P
If you're not comfortable with the idea of sex with a woman, then definitely don't try it. But don't close yourself off to possibilities of any sort. My current girlfriend had never been with a woman before and always just assumed she was straight until she met me. We have been together now about a year and a half. So you never know who you might meet. So always keep an open mind. She says it's about the person not the gender. That's how she falls in love. I can completely understand that.
That all being said, you're also still young. You've got so many life experiences ahead of you to answer this question for you. Don't be so quick to label yourself one way or the other. I've known many girls who swore up and down they were gay at your age, only to realize in their mid twenties that they wanted to be with men. I've also known (like my gf) women who swore they were straight and realized in their mid twenties that they were gay. Lol. Or at least bi. So time and experience will really only be the true answer to that question.
Good luck! Let me known if you have any other questions.
Oh, and I think it's universal to find women having sex hot. Just to throw that out there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2014): OP all women are a bit bisexual/curious and not that's not just a stereotype.
There have been plenty of studies that show that pretty much all women can find other women sexually appealing to some degree.
There was one such study I read that used a device that measured genital arousal in men and women. Straight men only became aroused to pictures of women, gay men only became aroused to other men and women became equally aroused by pictures of both genders, funnily enough most denied that they were aroused but the physical effect says otherwise.
I agree with the other, OP, it's too early to label yourself and labels are not important at all.
I mean if you're simply curious as to what you are then you're just a regular hetero girl with the same attraction to certain other women that all women have. Until you've actually had sex with a woman you can't really claim bisexuality because you don't know.
OP I'm hetero but I've experimented with other boys in my teens, I actually enjoyed it. I mean it was sexual pleasure it didn't really matter that it was a guy but I'm not sexually attracted to guys, have never fancied one, couldn't romantically love one and don't find pictures of men arousing, but I can see a gay porn video and find that arousing because it's sex and the act itself can have that effect.
That's why labels don't work, OP. I thought I was bisexual for a little while but frankly I'm not, I could stick my dick in a melon and get off in it doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to fruit, a fruitsexual if you will. You could do the same with a cucumber or something doesn't make you a vegan. You see where I'm coming from?
Don't worry about it there are too many labels these days to attach one to yourself and we're doing our best to make sexuality an irrelevance in society and not a defining feature.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2014): A teenager. That's what you are. Sexuality is never truly solid and will develop as you age. Don't rush into labelling yourself; it's not worth it.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 April 2014):
 You are 16 or 17. You are still working things out. There's no need for a label and certainly no rush to categorize your sexuality at this point in time.
If women didn't find looking at beautiful sexy women somehow interesting, all those women's magazines would be out of business.
If I were you, I would lay off watching porn for the time being and just experience life without the need to have an instant sexual image provider.
There's a really fascinating website that discusses the porn thing and young brains thing here: http://yourbrainonporn.com
Too much, too fast and too soon seems to be a problem for lots of people. What's the need for the rush to judgment?
Maybe someday you will snog a woman. So what? Maybe you never will. So what?
What is with the need to label yourself right at this moment in time?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2014): Who careS? Life is so much more than worrying what your sexual orientation is. When you meet the right person , male or female, it won't matter.
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