A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a pickle and caught between 2 men who I love for different traits and reasons...I was with my ex boyfriend for a year, lived together, the relationship was more based around me being attracted to his personality than looks, and we have an amazing chemistry, we just get on so well. It was only his inability to cope under pressure that we broke up. 4 months on, we are back on good speaking terms, and he wants me back.He doesn't know I have been casually dating someone else for 3 months, who I have an amazing spark of passion for, it's really based on physical attraction alt5hough we do get on well, just not on the level I did with my ex. I really like both guys for different reasons...But my real question is, what predominantly makes a relationship tick? The amazing connection on a mental level, or the passionate spark I have for the second guy?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tanya101  +, writes (18 April 2008):
Definitely the mental level. If you looking to stay in this relationship long term, then something can happen to your looks, people get older. The spark dies out. It's excellent at the start, but then you, get used to each other.
On mental level stays with you forever. And if you help the first guy cope with his inability to cope under pressure he will only love you more for helping him.
The best of luck.
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