A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and this girl have been dating for 11 months now and ive been doing everything i can to make her happy, but sometimes i feel like im doin all the work and she is just going along with the ride.For example im always the one going to see her, cos we r in a mildly long distance relationship, which i have sorted out by commiting the next 3 years to live really near her.She has been doing exams this past week and i know she has been revising, but i have hardly heard from her, and when i finally do hear from her, she crushes my hope of seeing her this weekend (she finishes her exams in 2 days) by saying she is seeing her best friend who lives right next to her, and we wont see each other for 6 weeks now!I dont know what to do, i mean its me alway going to visit her, its always me texting her every morning to tell her she is special and i love her, and i feel like im loving a wall because i dont get very much back.I have tried to be perfect for her, but it just feels like shes just going along with the ride.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI plan to do that, but am afriad i might "over-do" it. I mean that shouldnt be a problem but its a possiblilty i guess.
Im going up there to sing a song to her - "hero" by Enrique Iglesias but thats not relli much of a suprise. Presents, ive given her plenty so its time for somethin else.
I think going up to see her is important, and what i do could dictate what happens in the coming weeks while im away.
There is no limit for me how much passion i show her, i just need to make it perfect, but i dont know what.
A
female
reader, ineedhelp2010  +, writes (9 June 2010):
Well when you go up there tomorrow I would try surprising her with something romantic. Just make it a point to show just how much you really are in love with her. Passion is important to have out of the bedroom too. If she keeps seeing you make all these moves to be romantic and passionate, hopefully she will do the same.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell the thing is right she has been the greatest love of my life, and i care for her incredibly. I mean it may be down to her and skool and so shes beenw roking hard, but it does feel imtaking second place to her best friend, and despite all i do for her, it just isnt good enough to keep her happy.
In response to the first comment, unfortunately im goin away on holiday this weekend for a while, but im taking a trip up to hers tomorow right after her last exam before i go on the same day.
Look, we are both commited people, and commited to each other. And i cant move on from her cos ive already planned living near her for 3 years, which is undo-able, so i need to carry on, cos i know that i will see her more often so i think can re-instate the passion. I mean there is passion there inside the bedroom thats for sure, and she really is lovely. Its just these past couple of weeks that she has been flakey, but she was good enough to admit it, and said she will be until the exams are over.
Look, this wasnt a problem for the first 9-10 months of our relationship, i mean she broke up with me one time, but i tried to win her back and did. Which was worth it, because i really have been taken by this girl.
I cant break up with her, i cud never do that to myself and her, because we both made a commitment to each other, which i will uphold.
I hold on to a dying tadition that you should always treat your girl like a queen. It may be hard, but il do that.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 June 2010):
Relationships are a two way thing, and right now it's not both ways. You're trying hard, while she is busy elsewhere. Seriously, the best thing you can do is move on and find someone who will be as committed as you are.
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A
female
reader, ineedhelp2010 +, writes (9 June 2010):
Honestly it sounds like you might be right. If you realize that you are always the one that is getting in touch with her and always being the one to visit her, she probably does not have much passion left in the relationship. She probably still cares for you but it seems all her passion is going into her school, which is not necsisarily a bad thing. I would try one last really super romantic thing for her, such as stealing her away somewhere special for the weekend when her exams are over and see how she responds. You will notice if there is a lack of passion for you. It could be hard news to face, or it could just be the thing she needed. Good luck and let me know how it goes.
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