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What makes a man fall in love with a woman and want only her?

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Question - (6 August 2015) 9 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2015)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

What makes a man fall in love with a woman and want only her?

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A female reader, BettyBoup United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2015):

BettyBoup agony auntI think there is no one person who can fulfil every relationship need and desire we each have. Each person we connect with will complement different parts of ourselves. I guess what makes us choose to stay with someone is when there is a strong attraction coupled with a lot of complementary parts of each other, also, the ability to understand each other emotionally and to get along well. It can also be that the man or woman has made a strong decision to keep loving this person, when the relationship was at it's peak. That strength of connection helps couples weather the storms and stay together.

But people change and grow, and sometimes realise that their relationship is missing things which are very important to us. You can try to work on the missing things, but if the other person cannot or will not make the changes that you need, that is when the decision to stay and love them must be broken.

Decide what YOU want and need from a partner.Don't try to be something you are not to have a man fall for you. Instead, live life for yourself and enjoy being who you really are. Then from the men who are drawn to the real, wonderful you, look for a man who has the qualities you desire. Faithfulness, honesty and kindness ought to be up there, but we all have different preferences :)

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A male reader, dougbcoll United States +, writes (7 August 2015):

dougbcoll agony aunt it takes a man that is loyal of good character, that wants to be with one woman. that is happy to be with one woman. that is not the type chase after every woman he see's.

it helps on the woman's end to not be easy, & cheap. present her self of value & self respect.

a connection to grow from love, respect,& trust.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (7 August 2015):

Garbo agony auntPurity of intent and loyalty.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2015):

I have never known a man to want one woman only . I'm not sure they are even capable of it . It seems for me it's more about self serving choices . Does this woman give me what I want right now ? Yes = stay and fool around with others if I can get aways with it , no = leave.

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A female reader, Intrigued3000 Canada +, writes (7 August 2015):

Intrigued3000 agony auntGreat sex, great connection, great conversation, and when a man realizes that a woman accepts him at his core, even when he's not perfect, and still loves him. I was at a friend's wedding years ago, and when the groom spoke, he became emotional when he said, "She understands me and accepts me for who I am". They are still happily married today:)

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (6 August 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntOne thing's for sure.... she has to show up!!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2015):

Tastes vary, so you can't really design a woman that suits all men. No more than you can view men as a whole, and like them all. People don't come in the category of one size fits all, nor will any woman be all one man could ever want.

Love tends to be focused, but desires can be greedy. We are all human and capable of making mistakes; even if we love someone truly and deeply. We are less prone to; if the love is real, and you both value trust within your relationship.

You're fooling yourself if you think you'll ever love one and only one man. So if he dies or leaves you, you'll never love again? I had to find love again after someone I loved for 28 years died. I'm not someone you can fall in love with; and never want anybody else. Never met anybody like that. You seek a person who has the ability to be loyal, faithful, and trustworthy. That is, if you're all of those things yourself.

I'm going to give you the advice I recently gave my niece.

She is a very lovely girl, and very bright. She is blossoming, and getting attention from boys; and other girls are giving her the evil-eye.

My advice is to be true to herself. Be thankful for every blessing big and small. People will like and dislike you for good reasons and bad reasons. Seek those who show you kindness, tenderness, generosity, and loyalty. Give them the same in return. Friends and lovers may be few; but it is the quality of people you choose to be with.

You will be envied, and may feel jealous towards others.

Keep it balanced as much as humanly possible. Sometimes people only like what they see, and sometimes they want you for you. If you get both, you are blessed; if you can only get one, go for those who want you for you.

You may never find a man who will want only you; but you may find a man who is faithful and loyal to you. If you look for the right traits in a man; and have something to offer him in return, you'll make the best match ever. You can't design yourself to be everything a man could want and desire. You are thinking on the premise there is such a thing. There isn't. Nobody's perfect. Love is elusive, tricky, and unpredictable. It happens when it happens.

Try and be the best that you can be as a woman and a person; and find yourself a good man who loves you for it.

How's that?

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (6 August 2015):

Everyone is so different that it's impossible to answer this in a way that will help you. I for one like certain things, but the reasons I'd really fall in love and have a special connection with someone are mostly about personality.

Although for some people it may be as simple as making food and being adventurous in bed.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (6 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntDepends on the man, doesn't it? And the woman?

There is no magic recipe.

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