A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What lengths would a guy go to, to use a girl?I'm so confused about everything that's happened really and almost feel a bit used but I don't know if I'm over reacting.The background to this is about 5 years ago I had a year long, intense relationship with this great guy. Things were wonderful but him being 6 years younger than me, being only 20 at the time and only having one girlfriend before me, he had little life experience and felt like I was holding him back and not allowing him to be 'one of the boys'. All his friends were going to strip clubs, lads holidays etc and he was shacked up with me! We split up and he did go on to do all the things that I felt id made him miss out on. We stayed in touch throughout, I think the world of him and I believe, him of me. We both believe we have a unique relationship, we met in rather odd circumstances and we're literally like the other halves of each other, if that makes any sense?Anyway, we've met up about twice a year for coffee since we split and it's always been very intense. We've never kissed, even hugged, or anything more but there's always been a certain tension between us.Last weekend he got drunk and called me in the early hours. I could barely make out what he was saying but between his gibberish he said he loved me, he's never got over me and he'd have done anything to meet me 5 years later when he'd got his 'lad' stage out of the way. He also said every time we speak a spark is ignited in him and I'm like an addiction. He called me the following day and apologised for calling but that he wanted to meet me.We met on Sunday just gone. It was exactly the same as when we always meet but this time he kissed me, passionately, and I responded. He went to do more but I stopped him. We didn't talk about it or anything more than that. All Sunday evening he text me and called me Sunday night before bed but I've heard nothing from him since. We've never gone more than a few days without speaking and I've not contacted him but it's always him who contacts me first so I don't want to change that. Would he really have stayed in touch all this time, said everything he did etc just to try and get sex? I'm so confused by it all.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2014): "What lengths would a guy go to, to use a girl?"
The lengths to which any given girl would allow any given guy to go to use her.
"All Sunday evening he text me and called me Sunday night before bed but I've heard nothing from him since."
You didn't give him what he wanted when he wanted it.
"Would he really have stayed in touch all this time, said everything he did etc just to try and get sex?"
Yes. A guy will tell a girl anything she wants to hear if he thinks it will get him laid.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2014): "Would he really have stayed in touch all this time, said everything he did etc just to try and get sex?"
Yes. He knows how you feel about him, and is trying to use it to his advantage.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (8 August 2014):
 Forgive me for being a little blunt, but at 30-35 you should really have this clear in your mind. This is a young guy who got drunk and wanted sex. It was a booty call. Nothing more, nothing less.
I think you need to go no contact. You both stayed in touch for five years after breaking up as you felt you owed it to each other, wished you had met in different stages of life/circumstances and felt it too hard to cut each other out completely.
Trouble is, now he is getting drunk and wanting sex. Simple as that. You have both met up occasionally with a spark of attraction still there with no outlet for it. Instead of getting back together or going separate ways, you have been stuck in limbo. Now he shows he is yet to actually move away form his lad stage by ringing you up drunk wanting sex. Sex that no doubt would have been really awkward afterwards.
Mark
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2014): Excuse me, but what confuses you? It is exactly what it is. Do u have to ask whats obvious?
If i were you, i will leave him pronto. The things is he no longer respects you. His just your bf during weekends to get free sex from you.
A bf is someone who should need you like a routine he cant live without. Not only during his free time. How cold is that? My advice get a new bf his overused after all. You need a brand new one.
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